You’re Stranger Than You Think You Are
by Weird
Summary: Slightly AU. Kurama and Hiei talk about lost family members. Secrets are revealed. The past and present merge. Things will never be the same.
1. Conversations

_Title:_ You're Stranger Than You Think You Are

_Rating:_ PG-13

_Anime:_ Yu Yu Hakusho

_Summary:_ It seems like a small thread in the shirt. But the yank of that one thread can lead to the unraveling of the entire well-constructed article. Truths are like that. And too often, the deceiver is often the deceived.

Notes: Bad summary, I know….:P Just read it.

**---- Chapter 1 ----**

"You're depressing me fox."

"This coming from the youkai whose favorite color is black?"

"I never said black was my favorite color. I only wear it because doesn't attract attention…unlike some other people's attire."

"Hiei, you don't need bright colors to attract attention," Kurama chuckled. Hiei glanced momentarily down at the fox lounging on the soft grass underneath the branch he was currently using for a resting spot.

"You're trying to change the subject," he said, annoyance clear in his tone.

"Am I now?" Kurama smirked. He wiggled a bit, causing the sweet smell of crushed grass to linger in the air and on his clothing. Hiei grunted.

"Yes. You just tried to do it again," he said. Kurama sighed. Hiei could have an infinite amount of patience when it came to sating his curiosity, and the young youkai was as stubborn as most teenage boys Kurama met.

Indeed, the fire apparition was staring ahead right now, waiting Kurama out. The fox was going to have to be the one to speak first if they were to get anywhere with this conversation. If Hiei tried pushing now, Kurama might become exasperated and walk away. Most would wonder why the fox didn't right then, but Hiei knew his companion was too polite to leave without explaining himself first.

"I'm not the perfect son everyone thinks I am," the half-human said after a long pause. Hiei blinked. This wasn't good. Kurama was starting out on an already touchy subject. He knew this statement was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Kurama hardly ever just stated what was on his mind. The fox liked to draw his sorrows and joys out until they became some fantasy-like tale that would leave the listener begging for more and longing for a happy ending. Hiei never understood why the other made his life into some glorious story. Was he trying to attain immortality by living in legends that would be passed around in both the Makai and Ningenkai for eternity? Perhaps Kurama was trying to help others understand his views better. Or, knowing the fox's love for attention, it could be all just to entertain his audience…

But then again, Hiei often wondered if Kurama didn't do this to separate himself from the pain. By looking at life as a story, one can make oneself a character in that tale. Then, just like reading a book, you're detached from life, only watching as that character suffers and never really experiencing any of the emotions first hand.

"When I first met Yuusuke, he asked me why I stayed with my mother after my ten years were long over." Hiei snorted, causing Kurama to stop his tale. The small youkai had this story memorized. Hiei knew that Kurama had felt guilty for treating Shiori like a lesser being just as Kurama knew Hiei's reaction was that the fox was stupid for feeling guilt because Shiori _was_ a lesser being. Well that and the fox's misguided loyalty to others.

"Yes, we both know the answer to that question," Kurama said. "But, that answer I gave back then wasn't the real reason...or at least not the only reason." He knew that above him Hiei was wearing a puzzled frown as he tried to decipher the fox's words. Kurama smiled as the image formed in his mind's eye. "I couldn't have lived with myself if I left her with that terrible feeling of losing a son."

"But you were going to kill yourself anyways," Hiei pointed out. The sly grin that crossed Kurama's face confirmed Hiei's earlier suspicions. He knew Kurama hadn't told Yuusuke that sappy story without a good reason. Sometimes that kid was just too predictable. Hiei wondered if the fox had even expected the detective to live.

"I assume there's more you wish to say," Hiei stated. There wasn't really any question about it. Kurama nodded, a faraway look coming to his eyes.

"It was one hundred and twenty-three years ago. A gathering of youkai had made camp near my territory. Naturally I was infuriated, and, being Youko Kurama, I was very foreward about such things. They were all lower class and not much of a challenge at all." Kurama stopped for a moment, probably to add the flavor of drama to his next words.

"But I left one alive."

Hiei had rolled onto his stomach at this time, one arm and one leg dangling over the tree branch as he rested his cheek against its smooth bark. Kurama had grown this very tree for him after seeing what Hiei normally rested in while staying in the Ningenkai. Since the fire child refused to take lodgings in Genkai's temple, and because Kurama could not safely hide his friend for long periods of time at his house, the fox, in a gesture of kindness that was so rare a gift in either of the two's lives, had used his knowledge and ki in forming a beautiful tree.

The plant was unlike anything that existed in any of the three worlds, partially because it was a blend of a common maple from the human's world and a rare genikla from the Makai. This tree was Hiei favorite spot in the entirety of the Ningenkai. It's youkai trait made sure there was always warmth to the branches, and it's human feature made sure the leaves made beautiful music when the winds came through for a visit.

"She reminded me of Kuronue. She had long black hair, rather pale skin, slender fingers, and torn black clothing. Of course, when you think about it, so do half the youkai in the Makai. Perhaps it was the lighting, or the look in her eyes. Maybe I still felt guilty for letting him die, or, even though it had been so long ago, I still missed him. He was the first person I think I ever truly trusted." Hiei was becoming frustrated as he looked down at Kurama. The fox was a closed book physically speaking. His body was perfectly relaxed, eyes once again closed as the events played out through his mind. The only hint of how Kurama truly felt was in the deep, sorrowful tone he took while speaking.

"She was too young to really matter to me. Barely past the child stage of her life. The weakling wasn't even strong enough to survive on her own. But because of my misguided perceptions about her when I first saw her, I stayed with her until we found a comfortable tavern in a nearby town where she could work and find a safe haven. Naturally, I required payment for guarding and guiding her. She didn't have much money, so she proposed another method. I accepted, of course." As Kurama said this last part, his voice quieted into a harsh whisper to show how deeply ashamed of his actions he was. Hiei need not ask what occurred. There were times even he preferred the gentle, giving side that was the Shuuichi part of Kurama.

"It was her first time. I could tell because I was disappointed with the whole experience." Kurama flinched as if his own harsh words had bit into him. "I never truly cared for her before, and I didn't then. The last memory I had of the woman as I left the town was of bed sheets and blood. Then I forgot her and continued with life as we all do with one person or another."

"My work led me back to the same town and tavern a few months later. The first noise that greeted me as I entered the place was a scream that could reach the Reikai and make Enma shudder. Curious, I inquired about the awful shrieking. Apparently one of the tavern's workers was going through a difficult childbirth." Hiei pushed himself up, the drowsy feeling that had crept into him with Kurama's soft voice leaving instantly. The fox took this time to open his eyes and smiled weakly at his friend.

"I never did ask her name before she died after giving birth to our son." The two stared at each other for a moment. Hiei turned away first…he had never liked Kurama's expression when that haunted emotion dulled the fox's eyes…and went back to resting on his perch, caressing a nearby leaf with his fingertips.

"I'm sure he wasn't my first child, but he might as well have been," Kurama finally said, turning his gaze from his dark friend into the darkening sky. "Never before had I seen one of my children. But this time, I was there when he was born. I was the first person to ever hold him. The moment he opened his eyes, I was there to smile down at him. He didn't look a thing like me except for a small tuft of hair, and, in the surrounding black, it looked too white to be anything like my silver. I guess all his mother's strength went into her genes. He was beautiful, though, all the same."

Hiei continued to play with the purple tinted leaf until, though he knew it was best not to ask, his curiosity got the best of him.

"How did you lose him?"

The silence continued until Hiei thought Kurama wasn't going to answer him. But after what seemed like an hour, the other's soft laugher startled him. It wasn't a pleasant, happy laugh, but rather one of a person who was thinking of something that by all rights should be terribly funny but, in reality, was tragically horrible.

"I took care of him for six months. What a glorious six months it was too. Stealing the food, coxing him to eat, singing him to sleep, until on a dark night, a group of strong bandits attacked my camp." There was another pause as something occurred to Kurama.

"Kind of like I attacked his mother's camp, now that I think about it." Kurama chuckled again, but the humor still wasn't present. "They were a challenge even for me. And, you'll find this as ironic as hell…I know I sure did…but that night, the Great Youko Kurama, the Prince of Thieves, had his own child stolen from him while he fought for their lives." Kurama had stopped laughing and the mood turned somber again.

"Did you ever find him?" Hiei asked.

"Yes." Kurama shifted uncomfortably. "Many years later. He was too far gone by that time. Another family had adopted him. He had few rememberences, if any, of who he truly was. It was pointless to try and form a family with him again. I guess it's a sign, of some sort."

"A sign?"

"I never deserved children, Hiei," he said. "I've abandoned too many lovers that I could have taken as mates. Who knows how many of my children died because I wasn't there. In the end, it was probably for the best that he was taken from me."

They watched, together, as the stars twinkled to life in the night sky when the sun retreated to her bed. Both were musing on their lost dreams and hopes. Without speaking, each knew the other's thoughts rested on family close enough to touch yet too far to reach.

"You shouldn't dwell on the past, fox," Hiei said, shattering the peace. "It gives you crow's feet."

Kurama chuckled as the serious mood was ruined for the night. With anyone else, Hiei had a horrible habit of saying the wrong thing at the right time. But the fox and the fire, though they had only been companions for barely a second in a youkai's life, had a bond that most would never know in their lifetime of friendships.

"Thank you for listening Hiei. You're the first I've told that one to," Kurama said. Hiei nodded, the edges of his mouth tugging upwards.

"I know." Kurama caught the unspoken thank you in those words. He doubted Hiei ever had anyone who had the faith in the fire apparition that he did. To share such private thoughts with another and to trust them with those thoughts, for youkai, was a sign of deep caring that bordered on love. Kurama hoped one day Hiei would care enough to have that kind of assurance with him.

"I should be heading home before mother worries," Kurama said, standing and stretching.

"Do you think you'll ever tell him?" Hiei asked as the fox began to walk away. Kurama stopped and turned to look back at his friend. Something was there - the way he stood, the facial features, that glint in his eye, and even the fox's smell - but Hiei couldn't say exactly what it was.

"Do you think you'll ever tell her?"

Hiei rolled his eyes before closing them. Kurama watched as a light sleep (he didn't think Hiei ever had a deep sleep due to his constant paranoia) took him before walking towards home.

--------------

Kurama lay on his back in his bed. He held his right hand above him so its shadow covered his face. He was studying his wrist. The skin there was perfect and smooth. That was one of the perks of getting a new body; the scars and faults that marred his youko form disappeared the minute he switched to this much weaker human body.

In the body of Youko Kurama, there would be a scar on that wrist. Kurama wasn't proud of a lot of things he did before he had understood what it was like to be human. That poor girl...the pain of Youko Kurama's type of lovemaking had probably been unbearable, even though she had been rightfully willing. She was so weak and a very tiny youkai at that. It wasn't any surprise she had burned him in retaliation.

Kurama sighed and rolled onto his side, tucking the hand under his head. He shouldn't have brought it up, but Kurama felt guilty everyday watched Hiei struggle through life thinking that if he ever did find his family, he would be rejected for what he was. Unless Hiei had the courage to believe that others had the ability to love him, until Hiei could willingly tell Yukina he was her brother, he would never be able to accept the truth Kurama wanted so badly to let him know.

"Please find that courage Hiei. Make Yukina happy, so we can all be happy."


	2. Revelations

_Title:_ You're Stranger Than You Think You Are

_Rating:_ PG-13

_Anime:_ Yu Yu Hakusho

_Summary:_ It seems like a small thread in the shirt. But the yank of that one thread can lead to the unraveling of the entire well-constructed article. Truths are like that. And too often, the deceiver is often the deceived.

Notes: Bad summary, I know….:P Just read it.

**---- Chapter 1 ----**

"You're depressing me fox."

"This coming from the youkai whose favorite color is black?"

"I never said black was my favorite color. I only wear it because doesn't attract attention…unlike some other people's attire."

"Hiei, you don't need bright colors to attract attention," Kurama chuckled. Hiei glanced momentarily down at the fox lounging on the soft grass underneath the branch he was currently using for a resting spot.

"You're trying to change the subject," he said, annoyance clear in his tone.

"Am I now?" Kurama smirked. He wiggled a bit, causing the sweet smell of crushed grass to linger in the air and on his clothing. Hiei grunted.

"Yes. You just tried to do it again," he said. Kurama sighed. Hiei could have an infinite amount of patience when it came to sating his curiosity, and the young youkai was as stubborn as most teenage boys Kurama met.

Indeed, the fire apparition was staring ahead right now, waiting Kurama out. The fox was going to have to be the one to speak first if they were to get anywhere with this conversation. If Hiei tried pushing now, Kurama might become exasperated and walk away. Most would wonder why the fox didn't right then, but Hiei knew his companion was too polite to leave without explaining himself first.

"I'm not the perfect son everyone thinks I am," the half-human said after a long pause. Hiei blinked. This wasn't good. Kurama was starting out on an already touchy subject. He knew this statement was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Kurama hardly ever just stated what was on his mind. The fox liked to draw his sorrows and joys out until they became some fantasy-like tale that would leave the listener begging for more and longing for a happy ending. Hiei never understood why the other made his life into some glorious story. Was he trying to attain immortality by living in legends that would be passed around in both the Makai and Ningenkai for eternity? Perhaps Kurama was trying to help others understand his views better. Or, knowing the fox's love for attention, it could be all just to entertain his audience…

But then again, Hiei often wondered if Kurama didn't do this to separate himself from the pain. By looking at life as a story, one can make oneself a character in that tale. Then, just like reading a book, you're detached from life, only watching as that character suffers and never really experiencing any of the emotions first hand.

"When I first met Yuusuke, he asked me why I stayed with my mother after my ten years were long over." Hiei snorted, causing Kurama to stop his tale. The small youkai had this story memorized. Hiei knew that Kurama had felt guilty for treating Shiori like a lesser being just as Kurama knew Hiei's reaction was that the fox was stupid for feeling guilt because Shiori _was_ a lesser being. Well that and the fox's misguided loyalty to others.

"Yes, we both know the answer to that question," Kurama said. "But, that answer I gave back then wasn't the real reason...or at least not the only reason." He knew that above him Hiei was wearing a puzzled frown as he tried to decipher the fox's words. Kurama smiled as the image formed in his mind's eye. "I couldn't have lived with myself if I left her with that terrible feeling of losing a son."

"But you were going to kill yourself anyways," Hiei pointed out. The sly grin that crossed Kurama's face confirmed Hiei's earlier suspicions. He knew Kurama hadn't told Yuusuke that sappy story without a good reason. Sometimes that kid was just too predictable. Hiei wondered if the fox had even expected the detective to live.

"I assume there's more you wish to say," Hiei stated. There wasn't really any question about it. Kurama nodded, a faraway look coming to his eyes.

"It was one hundred and twenty-three years ago. A gathering of youkai had made camp near my territory. Naturally I was infuriated, and, being Youko Kurama, I was very foreward about such things. They were all lower class and not much of a challenge at all." Kurama stopped for a moment, probably to add the flavor of drama to his next words.

"But I left one alive."

Hiei had rolled onto his stomach at this time, one arm and one leg dangling over the tree branch as he rested his cheek against its smooth bark. Kurama had grown this very tree for him after seeing what Hiei normally rested in while staying in the Ningenkai. Since the fire child refused to take lodgings in Genkai's temple, and because Kurama could not safely hide his friend for long periods of time at his house, the fox, in a gesture of kindness that was so rare a gift in either of the two's lives, had used his knowledge and ki in forming a beautiful tree.

The plant was unlike anything that existed in any of the three worlds, partially because it was a blend of a common maple from the human's world and a rare genikla from the Makai. This tree was Hiei favorite spot in the entirety of the Ningenkai. It's youkai trait made sure there was always warmth to the branches, and it's human feature made sure the leaves made beautiful music when the winds came through for a visit.

"She reminded me of Kuronue. She had long black hair, rather pale skin, slender fingers, and torn black clothing. Of course, when you think about it, so do half the youkai in the Makai. Perhaps it was the lighting, or the look in her eyes. Maybe I still felt guilty for letting him die, or, even though it had been so long ago, I still missed him. He was the first person I think I ever truly trusted." Hiei was becoming frustrated as he looked down at Kurama. The fox was a closed book physically speaking. His body was perfectly relaxed, eyes once again closed as the events played out through his mind. The only hint of how Kurama truly felt was in the deep, sorrowful tone he took while speaking.

"She was too young to really matter to me. Barely past the child stage of her life. The weakling wasn't even strong enough to survive on her own. But because of my misguided perceptions about her when I first saw her, I stayed with her until we found a comfortable tavern in a nearby town where she could work and find a safe haven. Naturally, I required payment for guarding and guiding her. She didn't have much money, so she proposed another method. I accepted, of course." As Kurama said this last part, his voice quieted into a harsh whisper to show how deeply ashamed of his actions he was. Hiei need not ask what occurred. There were times even he preferred the gentle, giving side that was the Shuuichi part of Kurama.

"It was her first time. I could tell because I was disappointed with the whole experience." Kurama flinched as if his own harsh words had bit into him. "I never truly cared for her before, and I didn't then. The last memory I had of the woman as I left the town was of bed sheets and blood. Then I forgot her and continued with life as we all do with one person or another."

"My work led me back to the same town and tavern a few months later. The first noise that greeted me as I entered the place was a scream that could reach the Reikai and make Enma shudder. Curious, I inquired about the awful shrieking. Apparently one of the tavern's workers was going through a difficult childbirth." Hiei pushed himself up, the drowsy feeling that had crept into him with Kurama's soft voice leaving instantly. The fox took this time to open his eyes and smiled weakly at his friend.

"I never did ask her name before she died after giving birth to our son." The two stared at each other for a moment. Hiei turned away first…he had never liked Kurama's expression when that haunted emotion dulled the fox's eyes…and went back to resting on his perch, caressing a nearby leaf with his fingertips.

"I'm sure he wasn't my first child, but he might as well have been," Kurama finally said, turning his gaze from his dark friend into the darkening sky. "Never before had I seen one of my children. But this time, I was there when he was born. I was the first person to ever hold him. The moment he opened his eyes, I was there to smile down at him. He didn't look a thing like me except for a small tuft of hair, and, in the surrounding black, it looked too white to be anything like my silver. I guess all his mother's strength went into her genes. He was beautiful, though, all the same."

Hiei continued to play with the purple tinted leaf until, though he knew it was best not to ask, his curiosity got the best of him.

"How did you lose him?"

The silence continued until Hiei thought Kurama wasn't going to answer him. But after what seemed like an hour, the other's soft laugher startled him. It wasn't a pleasant, happy laugh, but rather one of a person who was thinking of something that by all rights should be terribly funny but, in reality, was tragically horrible.

"I took care of him for six months. What a glorious six months it was too. Stealing the food, coxing him to eat, singing him to sleep, until on a dark night, a group of strong bandits attacked my camp." There was another pause as something occurred to Kurama.

"Kind of like I attacked his mother's camp, now that I think about it." Kurama chuckled again, but the humor still wasn't present. "They were a challenge even for me. And, you'll find this as ironic as hell…I know I sure did…but that night, the Great Youko Kurama, the Prince of Thieves, had his own child stolen from him while he fought for their lives." Kurama had stopped laughing and the mood turned somber again.

"Did you ever find him?" Hiei asked.

"Yes." Kurama shifted uncomfortably. "Many years later. He was too far gone by that time. Another family had adopted him. He had few rememberences, if any, of who he truly was. It was pointless to try and form a family with him again. I guess it's a sign, of some sort."

"A sign?"

"I never deserved children, Hiei," he said. "I've abandoned too many lovers that I could have taken as mates. Who knows how many of my children died because I wasn't there. In the end, it was probably for the best that he was taken from me."

They watched, together, as the stars twinkled to life in the night sky when the sun retreated to her bed. Both were musing on their lost dreams and hopes. Without speaking, each knew the other's thoughts rested on family close enough to touch yet too far to reach.

"You shouldn't dwell on the past, fox," Hiei said, shattering the peace. "It gives you crow's feet."

Kurama chuckled as the serious mood was ruined for the night. With anyone else, Hiei had a horrible habit of saying the wrong thing at the right time. But the fox and the fire, though they had only been companions for barely a second in a youkai's life, had a bond that most would never know in their lifetime of friendships.

"Thank you for listening Hiei. You're the first I've told that one to," Kurama said. Hiei nodded, the edges of his mouth tugging upwards.

"I know." Kurama caught the unspoken thank you in those words. He doubted Hiei ever had anyone who had the faith in the fire apparition that he did. To share such private thoughts with another and to trust them with those thoughts, for youkai, was a sign of deep caring that bordered on love. Kurama hoped one day Hiei would care enough to have that kind of assurance with him.

"I should be heading home before mother worries," Kurama said, standing and stretching.

"Do you think you'll ever tell him?" Hiei asked as the fox began to walk away. Kurama stopped and turned to look back at his friend. Something was there - the way he stood, the facial features, that glint in his eye, and even the fox's smell - but Hiei couldn't say exactly what it was.

"Do you think you'll ever tell her?"

Hiei rolled his eyes before closing them. Kurama watched as a light sleep (he didn't think Hiei ever had a deep sleep due to his constant paranoia) took him before walking towards home.

--------------

Kurama lay on his back in his bed. He held his right hand above him so its shadow covered his face. He was studying his wrist. The skin there was perfect and smooth. That was one of the perks of getting a new body; the scars and faults that marred his youko form disappeared the minute he switched to this much weaker human body.

In the body of Youko Kurama, there would be a scar on that wrist. Kurama wasn't proud of a lot of things he did before he had understood what it was like to be human. That poor girl...the pain of Youko Kurama's type of lovemaking had probably been unbearable, even though she had been rightfully willing. She was so weak and a very tiny youkai at that. It wasn't any surprise she had burned him in retaliation.

Kurama sighed and rolled onto his side, tucking the hand under his head. He shouldn't have brought it up, but Kurama felt guilty everyday watched Hiei struggle through life thinking that if he ever did find his family, he would be rejected for what he was. Unless Hiei had the courage to believe that others had the ability to love him, until Hiei could willingly tell Yukina he was her brother, he would never be able to accept the truth Kurama wanted so badly to let him know.

"Please find that courage Hiei. Make Yukina happy, so we can all be happy."


	3. Curious Talks

Kinda a short one.I was actually going to make this chapter and the next chapter the same chapter, but I got this far and my muse said, "Nope. You're not about to continue the story until this part is posted." So :P.  
  
Thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys know how to make an author feel appreciated. Oh, and if you see just periods showing up in the middle of sentences, that's because my program won't let my story have ellipses in it for some reason.I do not know why, but I'm really sorry about it.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
"Who is it mother?"  
  
"Kuwabara Kazuma."  
  
"Kuwabara?" Kurama walked into the entryway, genuinely surprised to see his large friend bowing politely to his mother.  
  
"Hey Kurama!" Kuwabara greeted enthusiastically. The fox sighed and rolled his eyes. "What? Oh! Shuichi! I meant Shuichi!" he quickly amended. The damage was already done, though, and he knew it. Kuwabara looked anxiously at Kurama's human mother.  
  
"Oh, it's quite all right," Shoiri said, a smile on her face. "Shuichi told me all about his little nickname. I think it's cute." Kuwabara tried not to sigh out loud in relief, but his facial muscles relaxed considerably, giving him away all the same.  
  
"Is there something you needed in particular Kuwabara?" Kurama asked. His friend was too energetic and very tense. Plus, the human reeked of nervousness.  
  
"Hehehehehe. It's kind of one of those...um...'boys only' matters," Kuwabara stuttered, glancing nervously between Kurama and his mother. The excuse had worked for Yuusuke before...  
  
"Oh, I see. I'll just leave you to your 'boy matters' then," Shoiri teased, a mother's knowing smirk on her face as she left to go tend to a few things out back.  
  
"My room is this way." Kuwabara followed Kurama's lead, whistling as he entered the pristine bedroom. The bed was perfectly made, not a thing on the floor except a pile of books and shoes in one corner. Kuwabara suspected the clothing was hung or folded neatly in place. While these things, themselves, weren't uncommon of a typical teenager's room, the room itself had a stale, unused atmosphere. It felt more like visiting a museum rather than a place someone made their home in.  
  
"Do you actually live in here?" Kuwabara asked, almost afraid to touch anything.  
  
"Since mother's illness? Hardly. Too much time is spent on our work and separate troubles that come with being a demon and one of the most feared thieves in the Makai at that. You should have seen this place when I was younger, though." Kurama laughed.  
  
"You were a bad kid?" Kuwabara was obviously surprised.  
  
"No, not really," Kurama said. "As a youko, I never stayed in the same place for too long for fear of being discovered. It was un-necessary to do any chores that didn't pertain to my health or that I could get servants to do," Kurama explained. "But I'm guessing you're not here to discuss my hard-to-break habits."  
  
Kuwabara looked around a bit more, fidgeting as he stood before his friend's scrutinizing gaze. He had planned this whole conversation out in his head last night, but now that he was here and talking to Kurama, he was at a loss for words. It wasn't that he was scared of what Kurama might think of him; the answer to his question was what he feared most.  
  
"Well." There was another long pause. Kuwabara was thankful Kurama was so patient. "You remember yesterday with Yukina being attacked?" Kurama nodded. "Well, it got me thinking about things I've never noticed before. Like how Hiei and Yukina have a lot more in common than I thought. Or how Hiei treats Yukina all nice and stuff. I mean the shrimp was all threatening and protective over her. And he smiled for her, Kurama! He actually smiled a good smile!"  
  
"Really now?" The corner of Kurama's mouth quirked up. He had an idea of where this was leading, and if his guess was correct, things might start to look up for him.  
  
"Really!" Kuwabara continued, happy to see the fox was paying attention and wasn't giving him that "you're a complete idiot" look. That was one of the things he liked most about Kurama; the guy treated him with some respect. "Hiei likes you and talks to you more than anyone else I know, so I figure you would know the answer to my question."  
  
"Which is?" Kurama prodded, trying to hurry Kuwabara along.  
  
"Is...is...is..." Kuwabara turned a little red. "Naw, you'll just think I'm stupid."  
  
"Kuwabara, I'll admit that you don't always make the most intelligent comments, but you seem to be serious about this topic. You wouldn't have bothered to come to me if you didn't believe it was worth it. I'm taking this as seriously as if you were anyone else," Kurama assured him. Kuwabara studied the fox for a moment before nodding as if he had made his decision.  
  
"Is Hiei Yukina's brother?"  
  
"Yes." Kuwabara blinked and looked Kurama, eyes skeptical.  
  
"That was easy," he said, almost disbelieving what he had heard. Kurama smiled at his friend's doubtful comment.  
  
"Did you want me to make it harder?" he asked. "Perhaps you would have preferred if I lied to you? But even then you wouldn't have believed me, and this conversation would have dragged on for hours. Really, Kuwabara, why should I make life more complicated?"  
  
"I dunno." Kuwabara scratched the top of his head. "No one ever tells me anything, so I figured it'd be the same this time around. Heck, I bet even Urameshi knows about Hiei."  
  
"He does. Yukina and you are probably the only two that don't really...well, you two and Keiko...I think Yuusuke tries to keep her out of these things as much as possible..." Kurama added as an afterthought.  
  
"See what I mean!"  
  
"I would figure you would be more upset about Hiei being Yukina's sister," Kurama said.  
  
"Well, to tell you the truth, I really only wanted you to tell me I was right. I thought about it all last night, what I would do if you said yes," Kuwabara said, going over and sitting on Kurama's bed, ruining the unwrinkled spread. "At first, I was scared. I mean, it's Hiei. How the hell are he and Yukina related? He's so evil and she's so sweet."  
  
"I think evil is a strong word for Hiei," Kurama replied, sitting down across from Kuwabara on a desk chair. His tone was slightly biting.  
  
"Yeah, I realized that too." Kuwabara shook his head. "The shrimp is hard to figure out, but he's not that bad when he's around you and Yukina. And he hasn't killed me or betrayed us yet, so that has to count for something. And you know...I still love Yukina, even though I know about her and Hiei. She's still....well, she's still perfect." Kurama regarded his friend for a moment, knowing there was more.  
  
"But..." he said. Kuwabara sighed.  
  
"Everything is still normal, right?" he asked.  
  
"Kuwabara, logically, that would be correct. But reason doesn't always override emotion," Kurama said, smiling in an almost pitying way. "It doesn't make sense because everything else in the world is still the same, but the idea of Hiei being Yukina's brother will change your life, especially since you love her. But as long as you continue to hold onto that love, I'm sure everything will work out."  
  
"Thanks Kurama. You're a big help," Kuwabara said standing. "I should come over and talk to you more often."  
  
"I might actually enjoy that." The sincerity and lack of sarcasm in Kurama's voice lifted Kuwabara's spirits.  
  
"Can I ask you one last thing?" Kuwabara said as Kurama was showing him out the door. The fox nodded. "Why hasn't Hiei told her?"  
  
"That is a question for Hiei." Kurama grinned mischievously, pushing Kuwabara out of his house.  
  
"Hey! Why would I wanna tal-"  
  
Kurama slammed the door shut before Kuwabara could get out any more complaints. Still grinning, he bounded up to his room and jumped on the bed, falling amidst the covers with a satisfied sigh.  
  
Kuwabara finally figured it out. It was about time, too! Kurama had been ready to leave the teen a note screaming the obvious to him.  
  
Yuusuke was too understanding of Hiei's situation. He wouldn't butt in unless he felt it was important to the group or Hiei's health that Yukina knew. Koenma didn't care about how Hiei handled things as long as it didn't destroy the world. Boton was too scared, Genkai felt the same as Koenma, and Shizuru was (for once) keeping her nose were it belonged. Even he, Kurama, could never convince Hiei to tell Yukina. Hiei trusted the fox far more than he trusted anyone (his sister the exception), but even Kurama knew his words were always sly and had hidden agendas laced throughout them, making it hard to for equally cunning people such as Hiei to listen to his advice without thinking twice. It was part of being thief. Even his conversation just now had been full of careful plotting and planning. Telling Kuwabara the truth and then forcing him to go talk to Hiei was something Kurama had been trying to do for months.  
  
Kuwabara, as he saw it, carried the same amount of love for Yukina that Hiei did. The human was also stubborn. Best of all, Kuwabara was direct with what he wanted to say, something Hiei appreciated and practiced himself. If Kurama had to choose the person best suited for getting Hiei to talk to Yukina, it would have to be Kuwabara.  
  
Kurama just hoped his gamble would produce a winning bet. 


	4. Understanding Faults

Wow, I did a long one.*sigh* I've been biting my lip over this paticular chapter for awhile.darn it's hard to do something serious between Kuwabara and Hiei when they never act that way towards one another.:P  
  
Oh, and since it won't let me do italics, when you see this: ~Word word word~ , that my friends, is a flashback.;)  
  
Enjoy! ---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Shrimp? Yo, Shrimp?!"  
  
"Good afternoon, Kazuma!"  
  
"Yukina! I didn't know you were still here!"  
  
"What were you yelling at?" Yukina tilted her head as she peered up at Kuwabara.  
  
"I was looking for your bro-I mean Hiei!" Kuwabara said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, hoping she hadn't caught his mistake. Yeah, Kuwabara could tell Yukina about Hiei himself, but if the little guy hadn't said anything, Kuwabara figured there must be a pretty good reason behind his not doing so.  
  
"I haven't seen him since this morning," Yukina answered, oblivious to his slip of the tongue. "Why were you yelling 'Shrimp' if you're looking for Hiei?"  
  
"You see, um...it's just a little game we play," Kuwabara answered awkwardly, not wanting Yukina to think him mean for calling someone an offensive name.  
  
"Oh. Well it might help if you use his name." Yukina shrugged offhandedly, though her eyes betrayed she knew Kuwabara had been lying and she was correcting him. "I could help you look if you wanted."  
  
"Really?!" The thought of his darling being by his side as they worked brightened the human's mood considerably. Yukina nodded and smiled, blushing slightly as Kuwabara offered his hand to help lead her through the woods.  
  
They didn't get very far, though. Yukina only needed to shout Hiei's name once and with a slight rustling to signify his forthcoming (the noise being given to keep from scaring his sister), the little demon stood before the pair. Kuwabara frowned at the interruption, already having completely forgotten his purpose for coming to the temple. Love does that to most people.  
  
"Is he bothering you?" Hiei asked, shifting his gaze between his sister and her guardian.  
  
"No," she said, a slight laugh tickling the word. "Kazuma was having trouble finding you. I was helping."  
  
Hiei raised his eyebrow, attention now fully on said human.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Kuwabara blinked, lost for a moment before the rush of thoughts came tumbling back. He panicked for a brief moment, looking between Yukina and Hiei, not knowing exactly what to do.  
  
"Um...it's boy stuff." Hiei's eyebrows nearly flew off his forehead at that. Yukina proceeded to look greatly confused while Kuwabara mentally berated himself. Just because it had worked before didn't mean it would work again. "I'm sorry Yukina. Can I walk you back to the temple?"  
  
"That's alright Kazuma," she said, letting go of his hand much to his distress. "It seems important. I'll be fine. Take care!" she called, waving to Hiei and Kuwabara as she jogged back up towards the lodgings.  
  
Kuwabara watched her go, imagining little pink bubbles floating around his beloved like he had so often read in comic books. When her form vanished behind a sakura tree (its petals having created the bubbles in Kuwabara's mind), he turned back to Hiei. It was less than a second, and had he not been aware of their relationship, Kuwabara might have missed it, but the little guy quickly averted his eyes from where Yukina had disappeared to Kuwabara as soon as the human had turned around.  
  
They stared at each other for a moment, Kuwabara judging the shorter of them, trying to read his emotions; Hiei waiting and wondering if anything that would be said here could possibly be worth his time.  
  
"Well, what is it human?" he finally asked, patience eaten away by his obvious annoyance for the one standing before him.  
  
"Why haven't you told Yukina you're her brother?"  
  
Hiei's eyes went wide with shock, and he quickly tried to hide the emotion by turning his head to the side. This was the first time Kuwabara had caught him off guard, and he was forced to play the defense. He was, to say the least, unpleased.  
  
"Who told you?" he growled. Anger was his favorite emotion to hide behind.  
  
"Don't you think I'm smart enough to figure these things out?" Kuwabara asked, crossing his arms over his chest in disdain at being thought so little of.  
  
"It couldn't have been Yuusuke; he doesn't care enough," Hiei thought out loud, ignoring Kuwabara completely. "Botan's too afraid, and Koenma doesn't respect you..." The apparition's eyes narrowed. "Kurama," he hissed.  
  
"Look Shorty, he just told me I was right," Kuwabara said, defending their teammate. "I figured it out first, so don't go getting mad at him."  
  
"I'm not mad. I'm much more than mad."  
  
"You still haven't answered my question," Kuwabara said, trying to get the conversation back on track and steered away from Kurama. He felt the fox's untimely death drawing near with the flare of energy from Hiei's anger.  
  
"It's not any of your business, so don't worry about it." Hiei drew his blade, the metal gleaming fire with the setting sun. "You only have to worry about how much pain you will be in if you decide to be the one to tell Yukina."  
  
"You can cut me all you want, Runt," Kuwabara said, closing his eyes as if he wasn't afraid.  
  
"You're tempting me," Hiei purred, running his finger lightly over the edge of his blade, being extremely careful. He kept his sword in good condition; one could split a Makai silver thread, which was thinner than a human's hair, with it.  
  
"Hmph," Kuwabara snorted. "Well I'd rather go through the pain of your sword rather than live another day having to see the pain on Yukina's face because she can't find her brother!"  
  
Hiei winced as he pressed too hard on his sword, the blade making a perfect, straight, and deep slice on his finger. He sheathed the weapon and held his finger out, watching in fascination as blood welled up from the cut. The bright red against his white skin made an interesting contrast.  
  
Kuwabara watched as Hiei cut himself in surprise of the words he had spoken. He began to chew nervously on his bottom lip as the runt failed to respond, just watching as blood began to run down his finger.  
  
"You should take care of that," Kuwabara stated, not knowing what else to say. It broke Hiei out of his trace, though. Much to the human's disgust, he licked the blood off of his hand and finger, pressing the wound closed where it sealed in a second.  
  
"What do you see when you look at me, Fool?" Hiei asked, looking back up at Kuwabara. For once he didn't look ready to kill, maim, or insult the human. He seemed actually curious to know what the other thought of him.  
  
"Well..." Kuwabara took a moment to think. "A short, mean little runt. Who eats his own blood." He shivered.  
  
"Would you trust me with your life?" Hiei asked. The other just laughed, apparently finding the question humorous. Hiei's eyes narrowed slightly, but he continued. "I thought not. And would you want me as your brother?"  
  
"Hell no!" Kuwabara said, looking mortified at the mere thought.  
  
"Well if I'm not good enough to be your brother, then what good am I to Yukina?" Hiei asked him. "You say she feels pain not being able to find her sibling. I believe you because I know what that pain is like." The demon closed his eyes. "But I would rather Yukina live life with her dreams of a perfect family than to face reality where her twin is a convicted criminal and assassin. Do you understand now?"  
  
"You know what Hiei? I actually used to have some respect for you." Hiei opened his eyes in alarm to find Kuwabara hauling him up by the collar of his shirt.  
  
"Let me go," he snarled. Kuwabara was unrelenting.  
  
"But now you're just the annoying little mouse that I thought you were from the start. Hiding in the shadows, that's all you do!" The human pressed his face close to Hiei's so that the fire child had to look him in the eyes. "Is that your excuse for not telling Yukina? She's won't think your good enough? Bullshit! You're the only one that thinks that you idiot! You're just scared of what she'll think of you!"  
  
"I've never been afraid!" Hiei yelled back, punching Kuwabara in the face. He was released as the other fell back from the force of the hit, landing hard on his butt. Hiei stared as the human glared at him, rubbing his sore cheek.  
  
"Wimp. You just proved me right," Kuwabara said, standing up. Hiei shook in rage, black flames suddenly dancing around his closed fist.  
  
"I don't need anyone to tell me what to do! I've lived long enough by my own instincts," he hissed.  
  
"You're instincts suck when it comes to other people," Kuwabara replied. "You're such a loner that you don't even know how to talk to others anymore. How the hell can you tell their feelings? You automatically assume Yukina hates you, but she never stops talking about you," he admitted gruffly.  
  
"She...she what?"  
  
"You heard me!" Kuwabara said. "She's always asking questions about you, wondering where you came from and why you fight and where you learned all your techniques. When I was jealous I was always trying to put you down. I'd say you were just an annoying brat and that you hated people and stuff like that. Yukina would always defend you, saying there had to be more to you. She trusts people and always looks for the good in them. If you got closer to her, you would have known that."  
  
Hiei backed out of his fighting stance, staring at the ground before him as he listened to Kuwabara talk. His eyes were distant and slightly glazed over, proving his wasn't really looking at the soft green grass before him, but at a different picture altogether.  
  
"Her faith is misplaced. Not everyone has a good side," he whispered.  
  
"You're right about that. We've faced a lot of bad guys who weren't good at all," Kuwabara said, nodding. "But you're not one of them."  
  
"You think you know me?" Hiei asked, sounding too much like a whining teenager for Kuwabara's liking.  
  
"Well, I don't think anyone can know you," he said, scratching his head. "But that's the problem. You're the only one that knows you, and you treat yourself like crap."  
  
They were silent for a few minutes. Silence is often said to be golden, but apparently Kuwabara never learned that proverb.  
  
"So you're going to tell her right?" he asked. Hiei remained silent. "Look, Runt, after all that talking, I figured I got through to you. You know I don't talk like this to everyone! Maybe your skull is just too thick..." he began, cracking his knuckles as he advanced on Hiei.  
  
"Does she really hurt that bad?" Kuwabara stopped at the other's wavering voice. Hiei never sounded this lost. It scared the teen.  
  
"Well yeah! You calling me a liar?" he asked, trying to provoke his teammate into the demon's normal bravo.  
  
"No. You wouldn't lie about something concerning her." Hiei put out his flame. "You know the only reason I keep you alive is because of her."  
  
"Yeah, I figured that!" Kuwabara rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"I'll kill you if you ever hurt her," the fire child said, voice once again unbreakable ice. "I'll kill anyone who ever hurts her."  
  
"That sounds a lot like suicide," Kuwabara joked, laughing a little.  
  
"Perhaps I meant it that way," Hiei said, eyes glinting dangerously.  
  
"That's not funny!" Kuwabara said, actually scared for the little guy. The fact that he had been entranced earlier by his own blood didn't help ease the orange-hair boy's fears. He was about to shake some sense into the demon when Hiei flitted off. "Hey! Where'd you go you?!"  
  
"Kazuma!" Kuwabara turned at the sound of Yukina's voice. "Kazuma, I'm sorry, but I heard yelling before and then everything got really quiet, and I was so concerned..."  
  
"Naw, I can take care of myself." He puffed out like a rooster. "I am the mighty Kuwabara Kazuma after all!"  
  
"Silly me for worrying," Yukina giggled. "What happened to Hiei? Did you guys get into another fight?"  
  
"He ran off somewhere," Kuwabara sighed.  
  
"Oh, I wanted to invite him for some tea. He never talks to me," she said sadly.  
  
"I like tea," Kuwabara mentioned enthusiastically.  
  
"Oh of course! I have your cup set out already!" Yukina brightened, realizing she was ignoring the person who was actually giving her attention. "Hiei can show up later if he wants."  
  
"He better," Kuwabara muttered, falling into step at Yukina's side as they walked back up to Genkai's temple.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Hiei stared at the stars through the leaves on his tree. He burrowed deeper into the nook between the branches, the tree's own warmth and near- silky bark providing him with more comfort than he could have asked for.  
  
Sleep was, of course, elusive. That fool should have just shut up. Hiei should have killed him before their conversation had taken a turn for the worst. Damn Koenma and his threats...taking that stupid fox to jail with him would have also been a plus, though.  
  
Sighing, he turned once again and closed his eyes, trying to let the blissful dark of sleep sweep away his troubles so he wouldn't have to deal with them.  
  
~ Hiding in the shadows, that's all you do!~  
  
Hiei's eyes snapped open as he sat up with a start. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. Frowning as he felt his hair swaying (for no breeze had ever penetrated the tree's branches if he did not wish it), the demon pulled his hand away. It was shaking horribly. He stared at the traitorous appendage, willing it to stop. It didn't.  
  
"I'm not afraid," he stated firmly to his hand. "I'm just protecting her. I'm don't care what she thinks about me. I'm just protecting her."  
  
~Yukina giggled as she whispered secrets to the birds she was feeding, unknowing her brother was watching. "I'll find him someday," she told them wistfully.~  
  
"I'm not afraid."  
  
~She deserves to know she has a brother./She deserves to be happy./I thought the two were the same.~  
  
"I'm protecting her."  
  
~Yukina giggled as she whispered secrets to the birds she was feeding, unknowing her brother was watching. "I'll find him someday," she told them wistfully.~  
  
"I'm not afraid."  
  
~I'd rather go through the pain of your sword rather than live another day having to see the pain on Yukina's face when she wakes up and her brother isn't there!~  
  
"I'm helping her!"  
  
~Hiei bent down as something glittered in the morning light. He plucked the precious tear gem from the blades of the grass, looking up as he saw Yukina, back turned towards him, crying. "It seems so hopeless," she sobbed, words slightly muffled by her hands. Hiei clenched his fist, wondering what was hurting her so much but not daring to get close enough to ask.~  
  
"I'm...afraid," he whispered, pulling the trembling hand to his chest as he let his memories guide him instead of pushing them away.  
  
"I'm hurting her." 


	5. One Dilemma Down, a Hundred Lifetimes of...

Wow.I've wanted to write this chapter (and the next one) ever since I started this story.*sigh* I really hope I got the character's feelings conveyed right.it's hard to do interactions between Hiei and Yukina since all the episodes we've seen in America have them in one scene together.though I heard they talk a bit more later on.  
  
Thank you all for your compliments on the characterization of Kuwabara.I'm glad I'm not the only one that considers him important to the show!  
  
BTW, in most other countries (I'm told it's true for Japan as well), men crossing their legs are not considered, for lack of a better word, feminine. That belief is really only concentrated in American. Just clearing that up so you didn't think I was making any of the characters out to be more feminine than they actually are (I dislike it when authors make Kurama out to be like a girl when he's clearly not. Hint to all of those people.Kurama has only cried ONCE in the history of Yu Yu Hakusho, and it was in the manga after his mother was cured.he's not going to weep over rejection, thank you very much. There is, in my opinion, one exception to this rule, and if you read the fiction I've got planned after this, you'll see what I mean.;).was that a plug or what?).  
  
-------------------------------  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Quiet please. Mother is resting."  
  
"Sorry. You wanna go out instead?"  
  
"If you don't mind," Kurama said, grabbing his jacket as he followed Yuusuke outside. They walked down the sidewalk; Kurama had his hands in his pockets while Yuusuke lazily reclined with his behind his head.  
  
"Have you seen him yet?" Yuusuke asked, turning to peer at Kurama's face.  
  
"No," was the simple reply.  
  
"Dammit...what the hell is Hiei doing? It's been nearly a month," Yuusuke grumbled, shoving his own hands down in his pockets and slouching forward.  
  
"Hiei is fighting with himself," Kurama said. His answers sounded remote as if his mouth was on autopilot while his thoughts wandered to a completely different location.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"He has a difficult decision to make," the fox explained. "Kuwabara shook him up and made him confront aspects of his past and inner self that Hiei often chose to ignore."  
  
"Kuwabara did all that?" Yuusuke grinned, straitening his posture. "Well I'll be. The big ape is good for something."  
  
"Well, we'll see about that good part." Kurama sighed. He had expected Hiei to run off, but he hadn't expected him to be gone for this long.  
  
"You talking about how Koenma threatened to put a bounty on his head for violating parole?" Yuusuke waved his hand as if that action made their problems disappear. "Relax. You know Koenma's just as worried as the rest of us about Hiei."  
  
"That's not what I meant." Yuusuke frowned as seeing Kurama's thoughtful expression. The fox was concentrating hard and looked very concerned. Actually, now that Yuusuke thought about it, his friend had been rather skittish since Hiei's absence.  
  
"Yuusuke, you are only fifteen, and yet you have things that even you have repressed because they're too terrible to deal with. Inner demons you will try your whole life to keep in the dark. With any luck, you won't ever have to face them," Kurama said. "Hiei is nearly eight times your senior and has inner demons that could make me scream. This is a trying time in his life. It could very well kill him."  
  
Yuusuke normally would have stuck up for Hiei, telling Kurama he was preaching bullshit and that Hiei was strong enough to survive anything. However, Kurama never preached bullshit, and when it came to Hiei, the fox was always serious. Even without Kuwabara's spirit sensitivity, Yuusuke could feel the seriousness of this situation.  
  
"Dammit."  
  
"My thoughts exactly."  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Yukina sat near a fire, making her tea outside since it was such a lovely day. A large, glowing spark flew out, heading towards a pile of slightly dry grass. The ice maiden's eyes flashed blue, and the spark fell to the ground incased in ice.  
  
"Good trick," a hoarse voice whispered  
  
Yukina spun around in her wicker seat, eyes widening as she saw Hiei standing at the edge of the forest surrounding Genkai's temple. The poor guy was battered, bruised, and scratched up; normal gravity-defying hair was limp and hanging down to its owner's shoulders. His black cloak and scarf was missing, blue undershirt and black pants torn and muddy with small splotches of brown/red, dried blood. If not for the red orbs of his eyes and the slight shock of white that stood out in his jet-black hair, Yukina might have mistaken Hiei for a swamp demon.  
  
"Hiei! What happened? Are you ok?" Yukina stood, immediately forgetting her tea to rush to the other's side.  
  
"Don't worry about me. Your water is going to boil over," he said, gesturing towards the hissing pot.  
  
"It doesn't matter. I can make some more." She gently grabbed his arm and began looking over his injuries, healing the few scratches and gashes as she came across them.  
  
"You have three broken fingers!" Yukina exclaimed. "Come over here." She led him over to a companion wicker chair and told him to sit. After Hiei did so, she knelt in front of him and began to heal the more serious of his injuries.  
  
As Hiei watched Yukina work, a small smile appeared on his tired face. He relaxed for the first time in over a month, allowing himself to be pampered with loving hands. It was almost too much for him to withstand, the feel of his twin sister's energy seeping into his body and healing both the internal and external damage.  
  
"That's all I could find," Yukina said a few minutes later, pulling away. "Are there any more I missed?"  
  
"No," he rasped, voice raw from countless nights of screaming at the sky.  
  
"Here, let me get you something to drink," she said, grabbing what little water was left and pouring it into a teacup. She added a bag of her own blend of spices, ones that had healing properties as well as a good flavor when combined, and handed it to Hiei.  
  
"Do you like it?" Yukina asked earnestly as he sipped. Hiei nodded, downing the rest in a few gulps. "Great! Now we need to see about getting you cleaned up! Where have you been all this time anyway? Everyone has been so worried. Especially Kurama," she added as an afterthought. "You should really go see him soon."  
  
"Were you worried?" Hiei questioned. Yukina blinked in surprise.  
  
"Well of course I was worried. Usually I'm the one that leaves. You're always here whenever I am." She blushed. "I guess I've gotten used to your presence, and it was odd without you around for a month."  
  
"I'm sorry." Hiei seemed upset. "I didn't mean to hurt you again. I seem to keep doing the exact opposite of what I want to."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Yukina frowned. "You've never hurt me before."  
  
"Yes I have." He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes. "All this time, I could have told you who your brother was.and I never did."  
  
"You know?!" Yukina stood and grabbed Hiei's hand, leaning over him. "Oh Hiei, you have to tell me! Please, Hiei!" she pleaded, her voice conveying desperation.  
  
Hiei closed his eyes, head still turned away. He had spent a month wandering through the wilderness of the Ningenkai, building his strength and facing his fears. He had tried committing suicide once, run around the globe at least three times, gone without food for the entire four weeks and water for two weeks, all the time rigerously exericising both his mind and body. He had prepared himself for this moment...right? Hiei clutched Yukina's hand, the feel of her energy intertwining with his giving him the comfort and energy to do the impossible.  
  
"It's me."  
  
Yukina's body stilled completely. Upon feeling the tension in her hand, Hiei opened his eyes and look at his sister.  
  
"What?" she asked. He paled considerably at the reaction, but forced himself to be strong. He had gone this far.  
  
"I'm your twin brother," he said, voice firm.  
  
Yukina fell back, her subconscious guiding her to land in the chair next to Hiei's to keep from hurting herself. She stared at her hands, mouth opening as if she wanted to say something, then closing as she thought differently. Hiei watched her every move, trying to decipher what his sister's actions meant and how he should act in turn. He had braced himself for things to go wrong. But despite all his efforts, it still hurt.  
  
"Why?" Yukina finally asked, looking back up at Hiei. His hands clenched in an outwards gesture to inner turmoil.  
  
"I don't know why. Fate, it seems."  
  
"No," she interrupted. "Why did you wait so long to tell me?"  
  
Hiei's body jerked in surprise, and he nearly gasped. This was unexpected. She didn't seem distressed like she was supposed to be.  
  
"You're.you're not upset?" he asked. Yukina frowned, shaking her head.  
  
"Why would you think that?"  
  
"Do you not know who I am?" Hiei cried, standing. "I'm an assassin! I've killed and butchered and tortured my enemies. I've lived as an orphan for years. I've stolen! I've been captured by a human, a human of all things, and tried in court. I'm a criminal, a loner, a monster."  
  
"Stop it!" Yukina screamed, rushing at Hiei. On instinct he stepped back and moved his hands to intercept any blows directed at him, but the ice maiden wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled herself close. The fierce fire demon was rendered speechless and immobile.  
  
"No more. Please, stop doing that!" she sobbed into his shoulder. "You keep saying all these untrue things about yourself. You think you're such a bad person, but you're not, I know you're not!"  
  
"Yukina."  
  
"No!" she yelled, forcing him to be quiet once again. "You're not a monster; you're my brother. I don't care what you've done or who you've hurt or what your past was like. I just want my brother. Why can't you understand that?"  
  
Yukina turned her face so Hiei could see her saddened eyes, rivers of water cutting paths down her cheeks and stopping at her chin. As she shifted, soft patters could be heard as the gems those tears formed fell from between their bodies to hit the grass below. Hiei moved one hand up, wiping the wet marks on her face away.  
  
"Please don't cry," he murmured, though his slightly scrunched face betrayed he was as close as he would ever come to doing the same. "I'm not worth it. I've already caused you more pain than you need."  
  
"You're doing it again. Yes, I'm hurt you waited so long to tell me," she admitted. "But I forgive you."  
  
"So easily?" It was not that Hiei didn't trust Yukina. He just had such a hard time believing in something like forgiveness being attainted so easily.  
  
"Of course. You're my brother," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the three worlds. For someone who grew up as Yukina did, perhaps it was. "It's all forgiven because the happiness I feel now is a hundred times better than anything else I've ever felt before."  
  
He still didn't fully understand, but Hiei was willing to accept what he was being given. He finally felt at peace, right here in Yukina's arms, and the feeling was one he was not about to lose with more questions. Words didn't have a place here.  
  
In a silent thank you, Hiei wrapped his arms around his sister's shoulders and returned her embrace. It was probably the first time in the history of the Ningenkai that ice had melted fire.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
"Hey Kurama! Mom's not sleeping again, is she?" Yuusuke asked, peering into the house through the now open doorway. Kurama shook his head and stepped aside to let Yuusuke remove his shoes.  
  
"She's working today," Kurama said, leading the other into the living room. "But you're over awfully late. It's nearly midnight."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Mom just brought some friends over, and Kuwabara's out of town. Can I stay the night?" Kurama knew very well Atsuko's habits and the type of humans she attracted. He also knew that while Yuusuke could handle himself around a room full of drunks, the teen couldn't handle seeing his mom slowly killing her body while making a fool of herself in the process.  
  
Those were the reasons Kurama nodded in response to the other's inquiry. Yuusuke grinned and made himself right at home by jumping onto the couch and sitting up cross-legged. The fox tossed him a bag of chips.  
  
"Thanks!" he said, tearing into them. "So did you hear? Hiei's back."  
  
"Yes, I have known - Yuusuke don't chew with your mouth open - since yesterday afternoon," he replied, sitting across from Yuusuke and crossing his legs. Mentioned boy stuck out his tongue (after swallowing) but obeyed the command.  
  
"So why didn't you share the information?" he asked, popping another salty snack into his mouth. "You know, you're not the only one that watches over him. Hiei's part of the gang."  
  
"I know, and your concern is appreciated by both him and I, though Hiei would never say so. But to tell you the truth, I do not think Hiei wanted us to know he was back until after he came to us himself," Kurama said, sighing. "He came solely for Yukina."  
  
"Yeah, I figured, which is why I decided not to go bug him," Yuusuke replied, folding the top of the bag neatly and setting it on the table in front of him. "Genkai had to tell me, actually. How'd you know?"  
  
"Call it a paternal instinct," Kurama said playfully, earning a frown from Yuusuke. The teasing tone in his voice would make his friend think he was joking around, but Yuusuke might just be smart enough to understand and realize a few truths. This type of danger enthralled Kurama and made him do foolish things such as the sentence he had just spoken to Yuusuke.  
  
"Something you're not telling me?" the Spirit Detective asked, raising an eyebrow. Kurama chuckled.  
  
"There are many things I have not told you," he said coyly. Yuusuke was one of his favorites among the people he toyed with. The teen could play these little games of Kurama's as well as one could without knowing all the rules, and was often unpredictable in his moves. Still, sadly the boy was unprepared and would un-doubtly lose most matches, for Youko Kurama had taken part in these activities for over a thousand years and with much better opponents. The slight trickle of danger without a real threat present made the game enjoyable but not stressful.  
  
Yuusuke studied the fox for a moment longer before tossing aside his cryptic gaze for a less concerned one.  
  
"Whatever. At least Hiei is ok; that's all that matters for tonight," he said, stretching out on the couch and tucking a pillow behind his head. "Right?"  
  
See? Yuusuke was testing his friend, seeing the level of concern Kurama would show and judging from that reaction, but even if he showed concern, it was unlikely the other would guess the true reason. The fox nearly laughed in delight.  
  
"For tonight, yes. That's all that matters." Kurama kept his voice even but made sure the other teen knew there was more to what he had to say.  
  
"Dammit. There's always a 'but' with you, isn't there?" Yuusuke sighed, throwing his pillow at the other. Kurama easily dodged. "What next?"  
  
"One more trial. Worse than this current one. One that, even if Hiei survives, he may never be whole again. It will definatly change him." Kurama looked out his window, staring at the cloudy sky, dark clouds looming ominously over the city. "There are so many ways it can go wrong. And so few ways it will turn out right."  
  
"You going to fill me in on what this 'trial' is about?" the detective asked, sitting up, alert and interested.  
  
"I have." Kurama smiled. "You just missed it."  
  
"You're a real pain in the ass sometimes."  
  
"You've taught me well." 


	6. Don't Underestimate Your Allies

Oh man, I finally got the first part to this chapter up. Yeah, you heard me, first part! Oh my gosh, I cannot believe how long this part of the story has taken me, and I'm only halfway through.But I thought I'd post it in two separate parts instead of one so that A.) I do not feel like I have this undaunting task of writing 16 pages of a chapter, B.) You guys (and I know I have a short attention span) do not have to muddle through 16 pages of a chapter, and C.) You guys get something to read since I've been a very bad author about updating.  
  
Do not blame me! Blame the muse! It's always the muse! ;_;  
  
BTW, my muse (whom I've affectionally dubbed Ryu-chan for the time being) was being playful as well. Neon Genesis Evangelion fans will notice a little tribute to the show in the story.although the phrase has been used without referring to NGE in other people's fictions, I will tell you I had that anime in mind when I wrote this.  
  
Ok, important stuff for this chapter. Um, SPOILERS for most of Hiei's past.though I doubt you'd be reading this if you didn't know the basics at the very least. Much Alternate Universeness in this chapter.  
  
Nobody responded to the Q&A, so I'm quitting that idea. *shrug* They cannot all be winners. Oh, and if they start showing new episodes on Cartoon Network (if they ever do.I tellya, they're getting pretty bloody), well, I just want to say I wrote everything before this chapter before ever seeing past 58. So some ideas that you see that may be similar I did not take off the show in order to fool you. It's just very.coincidental.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
"So, you've finally decided to visit me."  
  
"Yukina said you were worried."  
  
"I was. I am. I always will be."  
  
"Sometimes, Kurama, I wonder if you're the child of the anomalous mating between a riddle and an enigma," Hiei said, taking a step forward off of the tree branch he was currently standing on, and landing in front of his friend. Kurama smiled.  
  
"You're in a good mood," he observed.  
  
"Perhaps," was the easy reply. Hiei smiled back, falling into step at Kurama's side as the other continued on his walk. He had already guessed that his sly friend would have knowledge of what transpired between Yukina and himself. He accepted this knowledge without question. It was an admirable trait of Kurama's to be so well informed and able to correctly decipher the feelings and actions of those around him.  
  
However, the cunning thief was not the only one who had such skills.  
  
"But I seem to be the only one feeling 'good' today," Hiei added.  
  
Kurama frowned. Playing games with Hiei was much more fun seeing as there could be a challenge found in him. However, the fox did not like being so transparent to others, and Hiei had become good at interpreting his friend's emotions.  
  
"I'm just disappointed it took you two weeks to reveal yourself to me," he finally said, words chosen carefully. If Hiei knew there was more to it, and the little one probably did, he let it slide due to his agreeable mood.  
  
"Yukina and I talked," he said in a sort-of-apologetic tone, or as close to one as Hiei'd ever get around Kurama, which was more sincere than most people he knew. "It was hard to get away."  
  
"I understand." Kurama's tone was distant but happy. "After being separated for so long, I imagine there was a lot to discuss and even more to convey."  
  
"Hn. You have no need to imagine what you know is true," Hiei replied with a snort. Kurama smiled, resisting the urge to ruffle the younger demon's hair just for sport. Instead his eyes traveled to a box-shaped package wrapped in white cloth that Hiei had securely tucked under his arm.  
  
"What's that?" Kurama asked, inclining his head towards the parcel. His companion's gaze followed the gesture, looking at the box before shrugging.  
  
"You'll find out soon enough. Sometimes you have no patience." Hiei stopped smiling and turned his head away from Kurama as if remembering something very important. "I'm still angry with you."  
  
"You are?" Kurama seemed genuinely surprised by this turn of events. "I would think you'd be pleased with how things turned out."  
  
"I was lucky," Hiei grunted. "A dozen other events could have taken place, not all of them good. Kuwabara could have told Yukina himself. I could have chosen to kill him instead of listening to his rambling. My foolish attempt at suicide could have actually worked."  
  
"Suicide?!" Kurama stopped walking and turned to face his companion, trying to catch and search those red eyes that were staring shamefully away. "Oh Hiei." he breathed.  
  
"I was irrational at the time. It's done with, and for once, I'm glad I failed," Hiei said quietly. "I'd rather put it behind me."  
  
That statement was untrue, and Kurama knew he would be pursuing Hiei on the subject in the future. It was obvious, as shown through his actions with Yukina, that the fire demon's primary weakness was that he preferred not to acknowledge things he didn't want to face. Thus Kurama had the daunting task of prodding Hiei to force him into these small talk/therapy sessions, even if it meant facing the other's wrath.  
  
But now was not the right time, and so Kurama just nodded and allowed the other to continue.  
  
"So as you see, your meddling may have resulted in consequences that neither of us would have liked to face," Hiei said sharply, and Kurama couldn't help but feel it was he who was the adolescent here, being scolded as he was.  
  
"I would think that you would have understood." Kurama did not let Hiei's words faze him this time. "The greater the tragedy if something goes wrong, the bigger the rewards if it goes right..."  
  
"If it goes right," Hiei interrupted. "Not when. If."  
  
"I did what I thought was best for you," Kurama sighed, wishing the stubborn child would listen. "You were slowly killing yourself, spiraling downward in a constant circle of indecision and self-loathing. You believe you're only worth is on the battlefield, so when you're not fighting physically, you force others into mental and verbal battles, losing those closest to you with your foreword and biting attitude. When you lose them, you believe it's because you're inadequate to have friends. Thus, the cycle continues."  
  
"How thoughtful of you," Hiei sneered in annoyance, the tone showing Kurama he had analyzed the situation correctly, or if not exactly, very close.  
  
"Yukina has taught you differently, am I wrong?" he continued.  
  
"No, you're not," Hiei admitted. "However, it is not your place to decide what's best for me. I am not a child."  
  
"You are to me," Kurama said softly. "Have you forgotten your age?"  
  
"The Makai never cared about how many years a person collected," Hiei replied bitterly.  
  
Kurama couldn't reply, so he didn't bother. Why waste meaningless words to fill voids when the remarks only made the abyss bigger?  
  
The two walked in silence, the sound of laughing children reaching their ears as they passed by a meadow.  
  
"I've told Yukina." Hiei finally broke the silence between them. "Now, what about your son?"  
  
"I'm surprised you remembered," Kurama said honestly. Then again, Hiei did tend to remember details that might be useful to him in the future.  
  
"He's very important to you, as Yukina was to me," Hiei replied, bringing a smile to the fox's face. Hiei, whether he knew it or not, had just down outright compassion towards him. It was a priceless moment.  
  
"Well you see, the matters are different concerning my son," he said with a wistful air.  
  
"How so?" Hiei was staring at him intensely, making Kurama's skin prickle, his whole body suddenly turning to the automatic flight or fight response. The fox didn't like this sudden bout of nervousness one bit.  
  
"Well, unlike Yukina, my son has not been searching for his real father for the better part of his life," he said warily, muscles coiling as if he would be struck at any moment. He had this odd feeling, a premonition, that something very bad was going to happen. Hiei wouldn't hurt him. So why was he so scared?  
  
"You are mistaken in that statement." The slap came, though it was not physical as expected. Green orbs were fully revealed as Kurama took a step back.  
  
"Impossible!" Kurama cried, completely unprepared for this turn of events. "You cannot know. You're not supposed to remember!"  
  
"You're so gullible, Father." Hiei shook his head sadly, taking a step closer to the frightened creature in front of him. "Doesn't it depress you to know you could have approached me all this time and yet you never did?"  
  
"Hiei." Kurama couldn't get past this state of shock. His mind was still echoing 'how?'. "I do not understand."  
  
"No, you can't." Hiei sighed, gaze traveling back towards the meadow. Kurama continued to watch him, trying to study the other's body language for any hint as to what Hiei might say or do. He didn't like being caught off guard, and while this new information could end with better results than he ever hoped, Hiei could change things on him again at anytime.  
  
Said son was currently looking at the children on the other side of the meadow, watching longingly as they shrieked joyously when the little girl who was 'it' came close to tagging one of them. Letting out a battle cry that sounded more like a cat screaming in pain, she pounced, tackling a slightly taller boy to the grass. Jumping up and running away from them, the child called out a warning to the others that the boy should be avoided and she was now one of them in this game.  
  
"Your son was captured by bandits six months after his birth and his mother's death took place," Hiei said. Kurama visibly flinched.  
  
"My son is you. I thought you remembered." It was un-nerving to hear Hiei talk about his son as if he were some stranger. They were the same person.so the fox thought.  
  
"Shhhh. Just listen," Hiei said, turning to look directly at Kurama. Slowly, unsurely, the other nodded, and satisfied, he turned back to watch the children play.  
  
"You searched the Makai for those bastards," he continued. "They had been prepared for you, which is why it took you many years to find them. A lot of people died in your quests for amusement and glory, you know."  
  
Kurama knew. He remembered finally finding the group ten years after they had taken his child. It had been a tough battle, almost as if the bandits had planned for his arrival and their slaughter. He had tortured the leader, the large, grotesque thing that he had been, and discovered it was no accident they had chosen to attack his camp. At least eight of the group's men had lost someone important due to the youko's past burglaries.  
  
They had planned to kill Zan, his son, by slowly cutting him to pieces, leaving parts of the child's body in a gruesome trail for Kurama to follow. They never thought to beat the enraged father in a battle, only to place their grief on his shoulders before joining their loved ones in death.  
  
But one of the group came up with a better idea, if not more sadistic, idea.  
  
Train the child. Make Zan one of them. With the child of Youko Kurama on their side, their little group would become feared throughout the Makai. Their wildest dreams and deepest desires could come true with such a strong leader.  
  
And best of all, they would watch as, when he finally caught up with them, Kurama was slaughtered by his own flesh and blood.  
  
"What fools," Hiei said, interrupting Kurama's thoughts, knowing what they were, "to believe they could control even a half youko. The species' blood is too wild."  
  
"Zan was raised by the group for eight years. At the age of three, the only child of the bandits found a brother. On the way back from a raid, one of the members picked up a parcel they found nearby on the ground. The parcel contained a beautiful Hiruiseki, and attached to that Hiruiseki was a little baby fire demon.  
  
Though Zan was only three, they gave the child to him to raise. Zan named him Hiei but called him younger brother. They might as well have been actual brothers; the physical resemblance was so similar. Short, ruby eyes, raven-black hair, and the likeness didn't stop there.  
  
Yes, Hiei and Zan were different at their birth. Hiei had a wonderful, sharp mind. Only hours after being born he could comprehend what was going on around him." Hiei's fists clenched at this point, and he spoke through gritted teeth. "He understood the spoken words of the elders. When they called him evil, a plague on their village, and said he had to die, Hiei burned with fury. They hated him for no other reason than the fact that they hated his father."  
  
A pause, and then Kurama could hear a small chuckle.  
  
"In that respect Zan and Hiei were alike. Taken and cast away from their families because of mistakes made by their parents." Kurama knew the words were aimed directly at him. They were meant to hurt.  
  
They did.  
  
"But Zan was like most normal children. Being only six months old at the time of his capture, the most he could remember about his father was silver hair and golden eyes. Not very much to go on, really. Still, he was stubborn and refused to give up." Hiei spat the word Fate as if it had left a bad taste in his mouth. "He would find his family if it killed him.  
  
Hiei shared in his elder brother's dream, though he did not have to search for his family. He needed to grow powerful, to come back to the Island of the Koorimes as the elder koorime Rui had said and take his revenge upon those that had cast him out.  
  
Together they made an unstoppable team. Easily they broke from their captors' grip and journeyed life's troubles. But being an eight and five- year-old orphan in the Makai is no easy task. The two grew up quickly those first fifty years of their lives, fighting hordes of demons side-by- side, gaining strength for Hiei and trying to get a reputation for Zan. By being well known, Zan believed his family would be able to come to him."  
  
The children had tired themselves out and were lying in heaps around the meadow. Occasionally one would point up to the sky and make a remark about the shape of a cloud only to be contradicted by a nearby friend. Their voices rose in argument as one child after another voiced his or her opinion on what the cloud looked like. It quieted as no one could agree and therefore everyone won/lost the game.  
  
After a few minutes, the same child as before pointed out a different cloud, and the game began again.  
  
"I hate irony." Kurama was startled out of his reverie. Sometime while Hiei and he had been watching the children, the fox had walked over to stand by his son. Their companionable silence had been broken by the utterance of those three words.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"You see I.Zan." Hiei seemed to have gotten lost, confused in his own story. A frustrated expression crossed his face for a brief moment as he composed himself.  
  
"Zan wanted to become popular around the demon world. But he was smart enough to know his own weaknesses. He wouldn't dare challenge too strong a demon to a fight. In fact, he often avoided them to stay alive and keep Hiei out of trouble."  
  
"I see." Kurama understood what Hiei had been saying. In order to stay alive to find his family, Zan had purposely avoided Kurama, knowing he didn't yet stand a chance against the thief.  
  
Hiei nodded, thankful for his strong relationship with Kurama. With the fox, he could get his meaning across without having to directly state what was on his mind.  
  
"After the first fifty or sixty years, Zan was close to giving up. He didn't even know if any of his family was still alive. All he had was his own looks and powers and the fading memory of silver hair and yellow eyes. None of this had helped him.  
  
Hiei and your son began to bicker constantly. As most childhood friends do, they grew apart. Zan began to try making a life for himself in the Makai, giving up on his dream of finding his family. But Hiei was not satisfied with his power. The two had always had disagreements before due to such problems. Zan took the wiser approach, and Hiei was too straightforward and power driven. It finally broke them apart, and they went their separate ways in life.  
  
While traveling, now alone, Zan met up with a previous foe that he had beaten in battle. The man wanted revenge, and, unfortunately, had brought a few friends to help him seek that revenge. The child didn't have a chance."  
  
Hiei watched for Kurama's reaction, enjoying the other's clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. It felt good to have someone protective of him.  
  
"When Zan awoke a few days later, he found himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. A surgeon by the name of Shigure had come across the nearly dead boy and had healed him. Your son was not stupid by any means, knowing few things in life came freely. He asked Shigure what was wanted of him.  
  
Shigure asked Zan if he had a family. The reply was easily no. With some convincing on Shigure's part, Zan revealed the tale of his life, explaining how he doubted he would ever find his mother or father or any siblings if he had them. He really didn't have the motivation to find them anymore anyways. After all, he had lost Hiei, the closest thing to a brother already. Life seemed meaningless."  
  
"That's when Shigure offered, was it not?" Kurama asked. Hiei nodded curtly, disliking the interruption.  
  
"Yes. That's when he asked Zan the question that would change his, Hiei's, and everyone who bothered to care for either of their existence." A thoughtful expression crossed Hiei's face. "You know, it never seemed that complex at the time. It was really a simple question.  
  
All he offered me was another person's life." 


	7. The Choices We Make

Been awhile since I've updated although I've had this chapter done for a couple of months now. I've been learning a bit about the craft of writing, and I'm not always pleased when I look back on what I used to do. However, I feel the need to continue this story, so I guess I'm going to.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
"You want to know why I saved you."  
  
"The thought had crossed my mind."  
  
"What if...I could offer you another person's life?"  
  
"Another person's life?" Zan studied Shigure for a long time. There had to be a catch to this offer. Gaining someone else's life? Lives were not something easily toyed with. There was always a high price, even with the seemingly most pitiful of existences.  
  
"You do not fully trust me," Shigure said. It was a statement, not a question. Zan smiled at the surgeon's bluntness.  
  
"You'll have to understand my suspicions," Zan replied, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall opposite to his host. Shigure pushed up from the chair he was currently resting on and walked out of the room. Though he made no motions for Zan to follow, the man knew well enough what was expected of him and did so.  
  
A short walk through a rather bland corridor, and he emerged to an equally uninteresting room. Pale gray walls, ceiling, and floor closed in around Zan as he approached Shigure. He did not know if the oppressing color was for sterilization or to add to the dismal feel of the surgeon's entire residence. Nothing covered those walls or the concrete floor. In fact, the only other things in that room besides Zan himself were in the center of the room. Shigure was standing next to a table whose color was unknown due to the gray sheet that covered its surface. Still, Zan could take a wild guess at what color the table was.  
  
The sheet did a poor job of hiding Shigure's secret. The folds and curves neatly made the outline of a humanoid body. Due to the stillness of the small figure's chest, Zan didn't have to ask if this poor creature was the one who's fate he was to be handed.  
  
"So, I'm guessing you didn't want me to kill anyone," he said, turning his gaze away from the unmoving form back to Shigure. The surgeon actually laughed, upsetting his usual stoic façade and surprising Zan.  
  
"I believe I left you with the wrong impression," Shigure grinned, slightly un-nerving Zan. "You see, I'm literally going to make you into another person."  
  
"Explain yourself," Zan commanded, fighter's body stiffening as if in preparation for battle. He did not like being caught off guard, and this situation appeared threatening.  
  
Shigure placed both hands on the edge of the table, leaning his weight onto it as his face turned once again somber. His eyes were cryptic, unyielding in their search to find the boy's courage. Would he be able to handle what Shigure had to present? Or would he crumble under the weight of yet another disappointment handed to him?  
  
If the doctor was trying to alarm him, Shigure, though Zan wouldn't admit it, was doing an excellent job. He felt like a trapped animal being experimented on, and the wilder blood of his father screamed against such treatment. However, Zan had survived thus far by intelligence and will, and both kept him rooted to the spot, firmly meeting Shigure's piercing gaze with his own.  
  
"How much..." Shigure paused, unsure how best to continue. Zan patiently waited the other out. He could play mind games just as well. "...did you love Hiei?"  
  
Zan's mind flew through a thousand and one possibilities, but one inevitable conclusion for why such a question would be asked of him at this time in this place by this person pushed through all the others to the forefront of his mind. Frantically he grabbed the sheet and pulled it back. Shigure, leaning on the sheet at the time, stumbled back in a way that would have been comical had the half-fox not been so absorbed in finding the truth.  
  
Staring at Hiei's lifeless body in front of him, Zan literally died. He became so overwhelmed that his mind shut down completely, stopping his heart and breath. He might have become another casualty if the sudden shock of Shigure thumping his chest hard hadn't jolted him alive. Zan stumbled, dizzy from lack of oxygen, his heart beating frantically to make up for lost time.  
  
Once his body returned to its normal functions and Zan could think again, the overpowering emotion from before broke down into definable feelings that were easier to handle, yet painful nonetheless.  
  
He stared at the small body so like his own. Hiei...his brother not in blood, but in every possible way else. The one person he had been able to trust in this insane joke that others called his life.  
  
He remembered the first day those...thieves had brought Hiei to him. "Take care of this little shit," they had said. "And you better not lose his jewel, or you'll lose your head." Zan knew better. They needed him far more than they needed anything this child could offer them. Hiei could really offer them very little. Instead, Hiei had been able to offer him something very precious.  
  
A family.  
  
Hiei had been a quick learner and a very strong child. The minute Zan had removed the wards from his tiny body, the little fire-demon's power shot out, incinerating the surrounding forest. Zan had only been saved by his own fire heritage and Hiei's curiosity to see what the boy holding him would do.  
  
They had bonded through their fire spirits instantaneously. Later on, as they learned more about each other's pasts and became their own persons, they would relate through those pained pasts and a horrifying future to come. Zan taught Hiei how to properly control his powers, how to use a sword, and as they grew older and more experienced, how to think. The little fire demon had a nasty temper and would often rush into a fight without considering the dangers.  
  
It was the reason they fell apart.  
  
The brothers' parting had not been a pleasant one. Both angry, thoughtless remarks as well as a few blows had been exchanged. The sting of Hiei's punch and words before he had flitted off were cold enough to burn:  
  
~ "One day I will be the most powerful demon in the whole of the Makai. And when I do gain such power, I will come back to you and the pitiful home you will try to create, and I'll show you. I'll show you just what strength has given me." ~  
  
Zan shook his head, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He knew Hiei must have died of his own foolishness. But he had to make sure. Maybe he was not giving his brother enough credit.  
  
"How?"  
  
Shigure stood over the trembling demon, offering no comfort except for his carefully chosen words.  
  
"You know of the Jagan?" Zan nodded, so the surgeon continued. "Your Hiei was strong enough to survive the surgery. Honestly, had he listened to my advice, he could have become a Jagan master, a very powerful demon."  
  
"What do you mean had he listened to your advice?"  
  
"I warned him that if he did not rest at least a week after I implanted the Jagan, the eye would overpower him. It has...a will of its own." Shigure shook his head as elderly people often do when talking of a rash youngster. "But he wouldn't listen. Not even three hours after waking from the procedure, he ran off to test it. You see the result."  
  
Shigure expected the man before him to start wailing, grieving, screaming...anything but what Zan did.  
  
The half-fire's shoulders did shake, but not in sorrow or pain. It started out as small snickers, barely audible to even the trained ear. They eventually became louder and stronger until Zan was holding his stomach, laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face. He began to gasp for breath, finding it impossible to stop his laughter long enough to get in the proper amount of oxygen.  
  
Eventually Zan's laughter turned hoarse, and the shaking of his shoulders died into a mere tremble. But the tears didn't stop. He shook his head, still holding his stomach tightly.  
  
"You fool! She could have waited!" he screamed, tears falling to dampen his clothing. In his sudden anger, Zan stood and picked up the lifeless body in front of him, shaking Hiei as if the action meant something to the corpse.  
  
"You lasted fifty-nine years without seeing your sister! You could have waited another week to see her, you little bastard! Was it that damn important?" Zan slapped the pale face. "Answer me dammit!"  
  
Shigure watched on, knowing it was better to allow the other to release his frustrations now. He watched as the man finally gave up on knocking sense into his already dead friend, pulling Hiei to him as he gave into his hysterical sobs. He mumbled things from time to time, incoherent words that were mostly lost upon Shigure.  
  
"You've forgotten my proposal already," he said, cutting through the other's sorrow. Shigure had gotten bored with the Zan's grievances. "You can save him, you know."  
  
Zan started, whipping his head up to stare at the other. His crying had immediately stopped, but his eyes were red and puffy, and his face was soaked with his own tears.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I offered you another's life. I'm asking you now..." Shigure looked over at Zan, once again staring at him. Zan wondered breifly if the man had any other emotion than that consistent observance of those around him. "...would you like to truly be a part of Hiei?"  
  
-------------------------  
  
It was a simple procedure. The Jagan became part of whoever possessed it. It had absorbed Hiei's memories when it was implanted into the fire demon. Shigure, not one to waste such precious items, had removed the third eye from the dead Hiei and placed it aside for another fool who might come to him for the power.  
  
Unfortunately, since the eye had absorbed Hiei's memories, in a way, the child still lived inside of it. Shigure knew that the eye would reject any new master because of Hiei's unwillingness to bond with other beings. The Jagan/Hiei would live in a state of furious impatience, unable to do anything except kill all who tried to possess it/him.  
  
But there was one exception. One person whom Hiei could trust with his memories and life. Someone who he could trust to carry out the demon's original plans and take care of his sister.  
  
"You do understand," Shigure reminded Zan as he strapped him to the cold steel of the table. "Hiei's memories may completely take your own over. If that happens, you won't just merge with him, but you'll become him."  
  
"I understand," Zan replied, squinting up at the doctor outlined by the bright lights shining from the ceiling. If Hiei's memories, his essence, dominated Zan's completely, then Zan would, in theory, cease to exist. His body would continue to live, but it would be Hiei's experience and personality that would survive within the shell.  
  
In short, Zan could easily die.  
  
"Do not ask me to reconsider again," he said.  
  
"Very well." Shigure never comprehended why it was people risked their lives for others. It was a matter of the strong being foolish to save the weak. Why allow the weak to survive if they cannot solve their own problems? It would only cause a bigger mess in the future.  
  
However, if others were going to allow their emotions to control them, Shigure saw no reason not to use it to his advantage. He didn't have to understand all that benefited him.  
  
"Now try not to scream too loudly. I might lose my concentration." 


	8. The Hearts That We Break

Thanks for the welcome back. Feels good to work on this again.  
  
Oh, and from a review a long time ago (though I haven't touched it yet...sorry) mentioning Hiei promised Shigure not to tell his sister about their relation, I only have one response to it: this is an AU fiction. That, and I haven't seen that episode (well I have, but the subtitles were really bad) so I'm not sure why Shigure made Hiei promise such a thing. If I did, I'd write something to counter-act the decision/promise. But I don't know for sure, so I feel just not touching the subject in the fiction is the best way to go about it.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Good. You're alive."  
  
It was so bright. The white light glared off the ceiling. Squinting, the young man slowly opened his eyes. His entire head was throbbing in time with his heartbeat, and his body ached like he had gone through a two week long training session. Taking a few deep breaths, the short body slowly moved into an upright position.  
  
Hiei allowed his head to clear before glancing around the room. Dull gray and nothing but. Only one person's house was this monochromatic. So he was still with Shigure. Which meant...  
  
Moving his hand upward, Hiei nearly cried in joy as his fingertips came into contact with the rough material of the bandages wrapped around his head. The implant had been a success! Once mastered, the Jagan would be a powerful tool for Hiei to use against his enemies. The third eye would also provide him a way of finding his sister. He would finally be reunited with his family.  
  
Well, not entirely. After finding his sister, Hiei would then need to return to Zan. Hiei missed his adopted brother, and still felt bad about the state in which the two had parted. However, his pride wouldn't let him confront the other halfling without something to show for his effort, and that meant accomplishing that which he had promised his brother he would do. He would finally attain enough power to challenge any opponent that dared threatened him or those few he cared for. Zan would see then. He would see what it truly took to live the life they wanted. The life they always dreamed of having.  
  
If Hiei could find Yukina and then Zan, perhaps the three of them could finally build the family that the two of them had wanted for so long. Maybe it was childish to think such things, but often on the cold, lonely nights when Hiei had little else to do but surrender to thought, he sometimes dreamed that Zan and he could really be brothers. Not in the sense of the mind and heart, for they were already truly brothers as far as these elements were concerned. Hiei dreamed sometimes that Zan and he could be brothers in blood. Maybe they had the same father who just abandoned all his sons. Hiei would discover this long lost secret with his new powers, and when he told his brother the truth, the Zan would smile and put his arm around Hiei's shoulder in that warm gesture he always used whenever he sensed Hiei needed an arm to support him.  
  
"I always knew," he would say, ruffling his younger brother's hair in an annoying gesture of affection.  
  
Of course, the chance of such a phenomenon ever taking place was small to none. So instead, Hiei would daydream about something more realistic. He would find his sister and then earn Zan's trust back. He would introduce his sister and adopted brother to each other. Zan would give Yukina a jaded but warm smile, accepting her as he accepted Hiei. She would blush and think him charming. And eventually Zan would take Hiei's sister and make her his mate. Then they really could be a family. Hiei knew he could trust his friend to take good care of his sister, and thought no one would be a better choice for her.  
  
However, all such scenarios were merely fantasies that Hiei dreamt to keep himself going. Such thoughts of family gave him hope. But first, the Jagan needed to be mastered. This feat would take time in itself.  
  
"As you see, the implant was a success." Hiei was snapped out of his reverie, turning his gaze to the right where the voice was coming from. The movement felt odd, like his head was turning a little too smoothly for what his body should be able to do, but then again, the young demon had just gone through a complicated procedure. It was most likely just a side affect.  
  
The chair Shigure was sitting in was of such a bright red color that Hiei couldn't look at it or the man sitting in it at first. Honestly, who had entire house of gray, and one red chair among it all. Hiei was glad this would be the last time he would ever see the man. "I suggest you don't take those bandages off for a week," the surgeon continued. "The Jagan has a mind of its own, after all, and it would kill you if you attempted to use it too early."  
  
Another odd feeling. Like he had heard this speech before. Hiei closed his eyes and put his hand to his head, trying to shake off this sudden sense of illness that was coursing through his blood. Frowning, the demon moved his hand down, in front of his face, sniffing it lightly. Why did the appendage smell so odd. This scent was not his. In fact, it seemed closer to...to Zan's?  
  
Had Zan been here? Was he still here? If he was, Hiei needed to leave immediately. He had yet to accomplish what he needed to, and he didn't need Zan to try stopping him yet again. It would only put more bad blood between them.  
  
"I don't need to listen to your advice, old man," Hiei grumbled, throwing off the blankets covering him and standing. His legs gave out, and he fell back onto the bed. Hiei stared down at the rebellious legs in surprise. What was going on here? It was not that his legs couldn't corporate due to the slight ache that still remained in every fiber of his body. Hiei had dealt with enough pain to be able to stand even under considerable stress. No...something was wrong. His sense of balance was off, as if his body had grown and shifted in many different ways at some point during the surgery  
  
"Yes, you said that the first time too," Shigure replied, not bothering to try and help the other. "You thought you could deal with it then just as you think you can now. And then it killed you. Poor dim-witted boy."  
  
"Killed me?!" Hiei cried, trying to keep his voice from becoming shrill. There were very few times in his life that the fire demon had ever been truly afraid, and this disaster was coming close being yet another one. It was one thing to face an opponent on the battlefield with sword and fire, but it was an entirely different fight to face someone who had altered your body without your knowledge. "What have you done to my body you insane fool?! I swear I'll tear your lungs out if you don't tell me this instant!"  
  
"Zan was right about you. You only use aggression to get your way." Shigure tsked, shaking his head. Hiei attempted to get up again, and this time he was able to remain standing. However, the slight tremble in his legs betrayed he was still weak and unaccustomed to using these new limbs.  
  
"What's going on? Is Zan here? Did he do this?!" The doctor could see the betrayal reflected in his patient's eyes, and a small spark of pity found its way into his soul. It was immediately cooled as the child in front of him began swearing and hissing death threats at his deceitful brother.  
  
"You should feel more gratitude towards your brother than that," Shigure interrupted Hiei's tirade. He received a glare in return for his efforts.  
  
"And why should I give a damn about that traitorous son of a..."  
  
"It was his sacrifice that allowed you to live."  
  
Hiei froze, staring at Shigure. The surgeon found it quite amusing to watch the sudden change in the boy, the abrupt dying of the fiery spirit into the more subdued person currently gaping at him. However, the man couldn't bring himself to smirk at Hiei's plight. Instead he patiently waited for the other to absorb the fact that had just been handed to him.  
  
"What?" Hiei was finally able to whisper. Shigure closed his eyes and cleared his throat before beginning the tedious explanation. Honestly, he hated redundancy, but patience was one of the virtues of a doctor. During the story, Hiei's face changed to an impassive expression and stayed that way until the elder demon had finished. Upon completion, the boy merely shook his head, half laughing and half snarling as he spoke.  
  
"As entertaining as that tale was, I find it flawed. Zan would never do such a thing for me." Especially not after how we parted, Hiei thought. He knew his statement was untrue. He knew Zan would risk his life for his little brother just as Hiei would never think twice about giving up his life for Zan. Any harsh words or actions between the two meant little to their bond. Hiei just didn't want to believe what Shigure had told him was real.  
  
Shigure, in response, raised an eyebrow and held back a sigh. Why were people so foolish as to believe they could deny reality? Seems the boy would need a harsh awakening.  
  
"To your right is a mirror. You won't mind looking into it if you think I'm lying."  
  
Hiei didn't want to turn. He didn't want to see what he knew was the truth. But his body moved of its own will, making the ninety-degree rotation until it stopped in front of the reflection of another boy. Hiei's breath caught as the image that stared back at him from the silver surface was not his own.  
  
Zan and he had looked, similar, yes, but each also had many very different characteristics to define him. While Hiei preferred his pitch black hair to defy all laws of physics and stand upright, Zan enjoyed to keep his luxurious raven strands shoulder-length and pulled back. Zan had always been an inch taller than Hiei, something that he loved to tease his younger brother about to no end. Also, the elder's clothing tended to lean more towards shades of whites, grays, and soft browns rather than Hiei's dark shadow style. Zan's face was little sharper, and his fingers just a bit more delicate, and his body a little less toned...  
  
Zan's body turned deadly white as Hiei saw every feature he had ever memorized in his brother mocking him from the reflection in the mirror. It just couldn't be. The little demon continued to stare at the image. Trembling, he brought a hand up to touch the white streak in his hair. The mirror image did the same. His hand snapped back down to his side from the surprise, and the Zan's did as well. Hiei fell to the floor as his legs stopped supporting him once again, and Zan suddenly disappeared from his sight.  
  
It had to be doctored. Perhaps the mirror was a magical one of some sort. Shigure could have magical items around here. It was not an unreasonable conclusion. Perhaps it was all a sick joke by the doctor. A mental trick or body alteration of some sort.  
  
But what would Shigure have to gain from the hard work it work it would take him to have accomplished this feat? And even without the mirror, Hiei knew whose body his possessed. It was in the subtle grace of even Hiei's current awkward movements. It was the smell. The extreme clarity of vision. The hands that were less calloused than his own. Hiei even shivered as he felt the tip of his ponytail tickle the back of his neck.  
  
And the eyes. He had seen those eyes in the mirror. Zan and he had always shared that beautiful ruby color, but the personalities hiding behind those irises were most certainly different. The mirror had show Zan's body, yes, but it also showed the person living within it was not the correct owner.  
  
Hiei stayed on the ground, trembling violently as he thought about the stolen body he was in. He barely noticed as Shigure stood and exited the room, only staying long enough to call out:  
  
"Now leave those bandages on for a week. You won't find another person so willing to take you in." 


	9. Coming Together

Midnightdream51 - Yeah, there's going to be more on the shock value (or at least Hiei's feelings on what happened) this chapter. As far as all those things concerning family and low self-esteem and not telling Yukina...you're getting ahead of the story, lol, and most of your questions will be answered in this chapter. Though I find it wonderful that you're asking such questions and analyzing my story this much. It keeps me on task because I sometimes forget the most important questions to ask as well! Then I don't answer them in the story and...well...-_-  
  
Curry - I'm very confused by your review. Could you be a little clearer? Gomen...   
  
P.S. – As I've stated in my other fictions, I don't depend on other's fanfiction for my information. As I've stated in this fanfiction, I haven't seen every episode of Yu Yu Hakusho just yet. So if anyone has any ACTUAL information (not something they've read in a fanfiction or off a website) on Hiei's tear gems, I would very appreciative to know it. As far as I know, he doesn't cry in the series (manga or anime), so the color of his hiruiseki is left to the author's/reader's imagination. I left the color obscure in this fiction as well.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
"Does he always act that way?"  
  
"For the near week he's been here."  
  
"Strange creature. I sense something dark in his aura."  
  
Hiei heard the harsh whispering beneath him but remained motionless on his bed. Legs crossed underneath him, eyes closed, limbs completely relaxed, the usually short-tempered individual was in the middle of a practice Zan had loved to do with all his heart. It was a sport Hiei had never cared nor had the tolerance for. It required patience, relaxing beyond his usually high-alert body stance, and most of all, a complete peace and clearing of the mind.  
  
Meditation.  
  
Nothing Hiei had ever done before had ever been as trying as meditation. He had given up on the exercise the numerous amounts of times Zan had tried to coach him in it. It had seemed pointless to learn to stop feeling when it was emotions that truly dictated one's spiritual power. The spirit is made of emotions. Therefore, more emotional equals more powerful. Simple enough equation.  
  
But many new lessons had been taught to him seven months ago when Hiei had awakened at Shigure's residence to find out his only brother had sacrificed his body due to Hiei's foolish decision. A lot had changed at that point in time.  
  
Physically, Hiei had cut his hair and forced it back to its normal straight up position. He had always loved Zan's hair, but the ponytail was just too annoying to deal with. In addition, Hiei had rid himself of Zan's beautiful garments. As enjoyable as the soft style was, Hiei still preferred the practical black clothing that made hiding all that much easier. However, the fire demon had compromised, keeping Zan's favorite item. The stark white of the other's scarf contrasted greatly with Hiei's black cloak, but it seemed symbolic to Hiei in a way he couldn't put his finger on.  
  
Hiei had to relearn how to fight in the past several months as well. Luckily, the young demon was a quick learner, and Zan's body was not that much different than his own. The added strength of the Jagan helped immensely as well. Hiei was actually beginning to like the change. Zan's body had always held a grace to it that Hiei had greatly admired. The younger brother had always thought it was simply Zan's mentality that allowed him to move with such poise, but upon taking over this body and learning its tricks, Hiei had discovered that at least part of Zan's liquid movements were inherited. One of his parents must have been a beautiful and powerful creature indeed.  
  
In light of all these physical changes, Hiei had mentally grown as well over the long few months. He had learned that just because emotions created power didn't mean one should not learn to control those emotions or that power. Because Zan had always been around before, the fire spirit never felt the need to learn to be mindful of his actions. He had always depended on Zan to do the thinking for both of them, and, in turn, he would simply be the muscle behind their operations.  
  
However, Zan was dead, and it was Hiei's fault. The consequences of his rash behavior had come crashing down on the young one's head in a wave of emotional pain that had nearly destroyed him. Hiei had never expected his actions to affect anyone but himself, and the lesson that had proved his bull-headedness wrong had been a harsh one.  
  
Hiei couldn't change the past. But he was going to change himself. That's why he had started meditating and kept at it, even though the practice never seemed to pay off. Often the boy would become frustrated, but he could no longer quit and go back to his reckless lifestyle. He owed it to Zan to keep this body alive as long as possible and use it to achieve...he was not quite sure what. Something close to happiness. The dream of Zan mating with his sister was dead. The dream of having a family was completely gone. There was only one person left for him, and Hiei didn't think he could ever tell his sister who he was now. Not after one family member had died because of him. He was too dangerous, still too volatile to be a good brother.  
  
But he could protect her. He could do that much.  
  
A loud sigh, and Hiei climbed off his bed, grabbing his katana as he passed by it. Meditation was not going to work today. He had too much on his mind. Instead, the now sullen demon tread down the stairs of the hotel he had been lodging in for about a week. Lately Hiei had been taking up another hobby of Zan's. Instead of passing through town after town, the young man had been staying longer periods of time in each place to observe the customs and way of life of the people who resided there. The information and insight that came from these observances astounded Hiei to no end, and he could easily see why his brother had often argued with him to stay put in certain places for longer periods of time.  
  
The two bar maidens that had been whispering before were now talking with some of the local customers. Nobody really paid attention to the small, quiet figure that slipped past the merry drunkards and out the door. It was raining, and few others were outside. Perfect conditions to match Hiei's somber mood.  
  
He had been feeling like this more and more lately. A general loneliness that spread from his heart and through his soul. He was always tired, and headaches were frequent. Hiei wondered, as he had many times before during these frequent moods, if he was dying, but brushed the notion off with a disgruntled 'hn'. He knew the thought was irrational, and that these often depressive mood swings were the result of the continued guiltiness he felt within him.  
  
"Why?" Hiei spoke to no one in particular. He pulled his arms to himself in some attempt to find relief from the rain. In truth, he could have risen his body temperature to boil the water before it hit him, but the demon didn't have the heart. "Why would he do such a thing for me? I didn't deserve it." The water weighed down the strands of his hair, causing the black locks to fall back down to the position they had been used to in under the care of their former master. It was at times like these when the reality hit hardest. When it was most apparent that Hiei was in alone in a dark world, trapped in a body that was not his own.  
  
"Why Zan? I wish you would answer me. I wish I knew your soul was safe in Heaven. But Shigure said you were still trapped in this body along with me." Hiei stopped by a tree, placing his forehead against the damp bark. Even now sheltered from the rain, he took little notice in the fact that the sheets of water had stopped falling on him. "But if you're still in here somewhere, why won't you answer me? Why don't you come out? I need you Zan!"  
  
Hiei squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating hard on the blackness behind the eyelids. He searched frantically for something, a figure to emerge. He wanted to see him. He wanted his brother back! Minutes passed and nothing happened except for the formation of little color dots from the hard concentration.  
  
"Where are you?! Why won't you come?!" he screamed, smashing his right fist against the tree. Hiei opened his eyes and looked at the bloody knuckles, realizing what he was doing. He was hurting this beautiful present Zan had given him by letting his temper get in the way again. Such actions could not be allowed. Taking in a shuddering sigh to steady himself, Hiei turned to walk back to the inn.  
  
The former sigh turned into a harsh gasp as the dull throbbing pain from the fire demon's hand spread up through his arm and suddenly pooled in his head. The pain was no longer dull; it had turned into a raging inferno that forced Hiei to his knees as his hands flew to the sides of his head to grab and pull on his hair. The little one opened his mouth to cry out, but no sound was emitted.  
  
It hurt so much. Hiei's mouth continued to open and close in silent screams, his body convulsing violently on its now curled up position in the mud. Fingers twitched as they dug into wet earth, but the feeling never registered over the intense agony. He gasped and sobbed for some relief, but nothing, no one, came.  
  
'Someone help me!' he cried out mentally. He tried to reach the power of the Jagan to telepathically convey the message, but the attempt only doubled the pain. Hiei felt like his head was either going to explode or burn him alive. It was the Jagan. Something was wrong with the Jagan.  
  
'Hiei! You need to fight it! It's trying to take you over!' Eyes clouded with tears, Hiei endeavored lift his head and look around. The action proved useless and only caused the skin on his neck to burn more intensely. No one was around. The little demon put his head back down in the mud, giving up on movement.  
  
'No! The Jagan will take you over. You can't let it! Fight Hiei!' There was the voice again, but Hiei didn't need to look up to know there was not anyone around to speak it. Eyes closed, he whimpered in protest against the words. It was too hard to fight. There was no point. He didn't deserve to have this body anyway. Let the Jagan take it.  
  
'Idiot! You still haven't found your sister. I gave this body to you because I trusted you to put it to good use. Now fight dammit!'  
  
Hiei's eyes snapped open. His identical twin was standing over him, glaring at him.  
  
"Zan..." The image disappeared at Hiei's utterance of the words. Eyes widening, the fire demon sat up with a start.  
  
"No! Zan! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The Jagan glowed with more power, feeding off its owner's stress. Hiei shrieked, curling up because of the pain.  
  
"I refuse to be controlled!" he screamed, pushing all his spiritual energy back at the evil eye. The Jagan mentally shuddered in surprise, blazing an angry red because this pitiful creature was daring to challenge it. However, the eye's power was limited to the spiritual energy it could take from its owner, and Hiei was using all of his spiritual energy to fight it rather than nourish it. With one last bright flash of malice, the Jagan settled back into its latent state.  
  
Hiei found himself back in control of his body, on his hands in knees, covered in sweat. The gentle rhythm of rain began to reach his ears through the loud ringing, and reality once again began to surround him. Shigure had warned him that until he could gain enough power and knowledge to master the eye, it would continue to try and do the same to him. Hiei had just never expected the experience to be so painful.  
  
Hissing as sore, tense muscles were stretched, Hiei stood, his breathing finally beginning to even back out. That voice. It had been Zan's. But...but where had it come from? He sniffed the air, hoping for a sign of someone else having been there, but the only scent was of clean earth. Hiei dare not even try to use the eye to look for an energy signature.  
  
'Think for a moment Idiot. I can't be outside of you if you are me. But if you prefer to see...'  
  
"Zan!" The ghostly image once again formed in front of Hiei. His now identical twin was standing in front of him, smirking as if it was any normal day the brothers had been together.  
  
'Sorry I'm late,' Zan apologized. His lips never moved from that grin, but Hiei could clearly hear every word within his mind. 'The Jagan realized it could only claim this body if we were separate. It knew if I ever made my way back to you, our combined souls would be no match for it.'  
  
"It trapped you?" Hiei asked incredulously. Zan nodded in affirmation, closing his eyes in deep thought.  
  
'When it tried taking over just now, you gave it enough trouble that it was distracted momentarily. I want to tha-'  
  
Among the patter of the rain emerged a quiet clinking of stone hitting stone. Opening his eyes, Zan was taken aback by what he saw. Hiei had fallen to one knee, the heels of his hands shoved into his eyes. One by one, hiruiseki, made dull by the lack of light, fell to the earth from the closed fists. Zan watched at the little gems created from Hiei's soul and energy rolled steadily to settle between the roots of the tree.  
  
"Don't do that," Hiei whispered harshly through his choked words. "Don't ever do that again! Don't leave me. Please..."  
  
A deep sadness, a sense of hopelessness, and finally immense relief. Zan felt these through the small soul bond that was already developing between him and his brother. And it made ghost tears of his own trail down his non- existent cheeks.  
  
Zan never realized how much Hiei had needed him. Yes, the brothers were close, and Zan could practically read the other demon like a child's book half the time. He knew his brother looked up to him, and he also knew Hiei relied on Zan to fix the younger's problems when things went wrong. But this absolute dependance he had concerning Zan was something entirely new. Hiei needed someone to accept him, and Zan had been the only one to do so thus far. Without his elder brother, the half-koorime had little self- worth.  
  
Wiping his eyes in a futile attempt to hide what he had been doing, Hiei looked up to see Zan's face directly in front of his. Smiling, the elder wrapped his arms around his brother. Though he couldn't feel it, Hiei accepted the gesture completely, even leaning into the shoulder that was not really there.  
  
'Shhh...we can't be separated now,' Zan soothed. 'You can already feel the bond from our previous lives strengthening into a soul bond. Soon we will be one person entirely. Everything will be right. I'll never leave you.'  
  
Hiei nodded, and slowly Zan's body faded away. But this time Hiei could still feel the other in his mind, like a second conscious, ready to help him out in his times of need. A real smile crosses his face, the first in many months. With a steady hand, the single body with two souls gathered the hiruiseki that had fallen to the earth and tucked them away like the precious jewels they were before heading back towards the inn.  
  
He still had not finished his meditation. 


	10. Father Apart

"What would you like hon?"

"To be left alone by the likes of you."

"Aw, now don't be so quick to answer darli-"

The snarky female who was just a little too friendly suddenly found her wrist in the clasp of a very unhappy fire-demon. Narrowing his eyes, Hiei tightened his grip until she began to struggle for release, tail whipping wildly back and forth in panic.

"I said no," he growled, watching in satisfaction as her eyes widened a little more in fear. "Now get lost."

The woman smartly paid attention to what she was told and scurried away. Hiei grunted and returned to the stained mug sitting in front of him with an even more disgusted gaze. He gently prodded the drink with the point of his index finger, wondering if he should bother tasting it. He finally understood why taverns were so dark. The owners wanted to keep the customers from seeing exactly what it was they were consuming.

"Ya goin' drink that?" Hiei looked up upon hearing the thick accent Another female was standing over him. This one had dark blue-hair, ears that curved up into a point, and a look that was entirely too human for Hiei's liking. Not that he should really be one to be displeased by such things...

"You can have it." Perhaps the drink would kill her for him. The young girl grinned and grabbed the drink, downing the alcohol in a few chugs. Hiei didn't know whether to be impressed or disgusted. He decided on the latter, wrinkling his noise as she slammed the now empty mug onto the table with a satisfied smile. She laughed at his expression and sat down near him.

"I didn't ask for company," Hiei said, tone biting.

"Yer lucky I think yer cute," she said, earning a harder glare. Her face and tone suddenly turned serious, green eyes glinting dangerously. "Othawise ya'd be dead." With a cruel smirk she leaned back. "Or haven't ya noticed we've already taken this establishment?"

Red irises glanced about the tavern, and Hiei began to notice that there were several more occupants than there had previously been. Many of the former customers were looking nervous, a few shifting about and looking ready to run. These newer residents varied in size, shape, and race, but there was one very common, un-nerving trait amongst them all. They were all giving off high levels of spirit energy.

"What's going on here?!" The manager, a squat, bad tempered demon, stormed out of the back, voice booming. He glared as one of the new men approached him, smiling in a charming fashion.

"We're just going to be occupying this space for a few hours. We hope you'll accept our company." As pleasing as his words were, it was obvious there was not room for any arguing. "You see, our leader is feeling a little under the weather, and we're trying to treat him to a good time."

Hiei's eyes watched the exchange in quiet observance. Leader? So they were all part of a gang of some sort then. A powerful gang. Hiei could not detect all the members even with the help of his Jagan; his instincts told him there were more than he was simply seeing here. This situation was not looking good.

"Are you going to make a mess?" The owner obviously didn't care who was residing in his tavern, so long is they did not cause much damage to the place itself. Typical.

"Not as long as everyone behaves themselves." The gang member turned around, leaning against the bar as he fixed a cold stare on everyone in the establishment. "Just go back to your drinking and small talk. Get comfortable. Nobody is allowed to leave until we're done here."

"Since when did you start making all the rules?!" Perhaps the man was drunk or perhaps he was just very foolish. Either way it didn't matter. His body crashed to the table, purple liquid oozing from his throat to the floor.

"Any more protests?"

Hiei hissed under his breath. He really did not want to have to deal with this right now. Had he been his former self, solely Hiei, the fire demon might have decided to start a fight. He did not like to be confined or told what to do. But seven years had past since that day by the tree when Zan had finally freed himself and started the bonding process with Hiei. Now it was near impossible to tell the two souls apart. Hiei was now Hiei- Zan. The smart, observant part of Hiei that had at one time only been a trait of Zan told him to corporate; it would be less messy that way.

"Pretty good, eh?" Upon looking up, Hiei's eyes widened in surprise. The female bandit was twirling a dagger in her fingers, grinning with pride. The weapon was stained with the protesting man's blood.

"You're quick," Hiei admitted, causing his companion to giggle. With a quick sweep of the hand, she cleaned the blade and tucked it away. She raised her hand for another beer, whistling at one of the waitresses. Body remaining tense, Hiei sat back and looked around. "So who is this leader of yours? Anyone famous?" The power of the lackeys in the bar had Hiei suspecting he might want to stay out of the sight of whoever controlled them.

"Shhh..." The woman pressed her finger to her lips, looking around with a secretive glance. Hiei bit his lip to keep from saying something insulting. She was really getting on his nerves. "Be patient my little sweetness." Consequences be damned, he was going to kill her now. "Ya'll be seein' 'im soon enough." She suddenly leaned over the table, tracing one finger down the side of his face. Her voice lowered as his eyes widened further. "Or maybe ya won't. I'm takin' a likin' to ya. We might just have to find ourselves a room, eh?"

Hiei visibly trembled in anger. He reached up, grabbing her hand and jerked it away from his face. Her dagger was at his throat the next second. All noise was hushed as every pair of eyes in the establishment turned to look at the quarrel. Hiei saw a few of them glinting hopefully; demons and their blood fetish.

"Is he bothering you Kaida?" one of the gang members asked from across the room. She shook her head.

"We're just establishing who's the dominant one 'ere," Kaida called back. A low growl emitted from Hiei's throat as the man and a few others started laughing.

"Aw, he's angry, Kaida!" one of them hooted from the back. "Better listen to her kid. She doesn't mind taking them after they're dead."

"Shut yer trap," she yelled back, glaring at the man as he howled. A few others whistled and whooped, some yelling out suggestive remarks about what to do when the two were alone. Kaida rolled her eyes at them and turned her attentions back to Hiei. "Now be a good boy. Let go within the next five seconds, and maybe I'll be nice."

If only he could tear that voice box out. But the cold steel right near his jugular made Hiei listen, loosening his grip. There was another ripple of laughter through the area, and the regular noise of the tavern started again. Kaida's weapon seemed to disappear once more, but this time Hiei caught the flash of silver as it slipped up a sleeve. Brashly, she moved her hand back to him, sliding it along the younger demon's neck. Hiei suppressed a sickened shudder, bristling at the touch. He had to think of a way to get out of this situation both alive and without having to sell himself (and perhaps get lucky enough to kill this female in the process too). Whether she died or not, he foresaw a long shower and many weeks of hard work in the future. Since when had he become so weak a woman could beat him?

"Now about that room..."

"Find another victim Kaida. This one's mine for tonight." Hiei barely noticed the fact that the hand was removing itself. The voice distracted him fully. It was as smooth as it was strong and as coy as it was lavish. Its soft, yet masculine tone conveyed an authority that was not to be questioned.

It was a voice Hiei had heard before.

"I didn't know ya preferred this type Kurama," Kaida asked as she flippantly propped her legs up on the table before her. "'e looks more like a lover than a good fighter if ya know what I be sayin'." The room was once again hushed as the haunting presence of the fox-spirit near glided across the rough, wooden floor. Hiei went rigid, eyes narrowing, trying his hardest to appear threatening. The youko's mouth curved upward in an amused grin, and the young demon knew that the thief had not been fooled by his attempts.

"Can I have 'im after yer done if 'e still be alive?" Kurama turned to Kaida, smiling at her question. He playfully slinked towards her, stopping at her side and gently running one hand through her hair. She closed her eyes and murmured at the touch.

A moment later, Kaida was on the floor, holding her wounded cheek. Hiei watched, fascinated at rivulets of blood leaked through the spaces of her fingers from the gouges Kurama had made with his claws. Deftly, the youko licked the blood off one finger. His face scrunched in distaste, and he spat the substance back at her.

"Unlike you, my dear, I don't use every pathetic creature I come across for a toy. The weak can be just as amusing in other ways. Now go outside and keep guard before I decide to use my claws on a more delicate portion of you." Kaida disappeared as quickly as her dagger, running out the door as she had been assigned.

"Go about your usual business." Kurama barely whispered the words, but the other residents jumped immediately, suddenly talking loudly and hurriedly about anything possible. A few ordered more drinks to calm their nerves. Languidly, the silver fox took Kaida's seat, turning sideways in the chair and crossing his legs. A waitress came over with a few beverages on a tray, her arm shaking so bad the mugs nearly fell off.

"W-w-would you l-l-like a d-d-drink?" She stuttered. Kurama looked over to Hiei, raising an eyebrow. Caught off guard by civility of the dreaded youko's actions, it took the fire child a moment to respond. He shook his head. The drink here was un-acceptable, and he felt he would need all of his wits if the Prince of Thieves felt like playing mind games tonight.

"Nothing for me either." The waitress hurried away, glad to be relieved of her duties to that table. Kurama watched her go with a bored expression before turning around in his seat to face Hiei. Resting his elbows on the table and placing his chin in his hands, the fox studied the boy in front of him with curiosity and what Hiei could only define as contempt.

"So you're Hiei," he said, looking the boy up and down, a glimmer of sarcastic laughter reflected in his eyes as they came to rest on the white streak in Hiei's hair.. "Forbidden child of the Koorime. Abandoned by your race only days after your birth. You have a sister, am I correct?" As much as he prided himself on his composure, Hiei came awfully close to falling off the chair.

"How...how can you know?" Hiei stared at Kurama with wonderment. Perhaps the rumors were true, and the youko could actually read minds. Kurama smirked as if he really had heard the other's thoughts.

"Research. You've perked my interest. You see, I don't take kindly to those that steal what's mine. And you, my boy, have taken something very dear to me." Kurama did not speak with malice or reproach. Instead, his tone and gaze were both somber, as if he had accepted whatever it was that Hiei had done, not because he wanted to, but because he had to.

"If I've taken anything of yours..."

"Call me Kurama. Or Youko if you're uncomfortable with familiarity."

"...Youko, then I do not have knowledge of it," Hiei finished, waiting for the fox's reaction. He expected to be killed at once for his uselessness – he stilled, ready to fight – but Kurama only astonished him further. The youko sighed, picking his head up off his hands and leaning back in his chair.

"No, you wouldn't." Kurama chuckled, sweeping a few wisps of hair out of his face with a light touch. Hiei couldn't help but be impressed by the creature's grace; the mere fluid power his whole body seemed to convey in even these simple movements.

"I tracked your movements," he finally continued after realizing Hiei was not going to respond, "to the surgeon Shigure. He told me a few very interesting things about you Hiei. Very interesting." Kurama's voice became quiet, and he removed his gaze from the child, staring down at his clasped hands on the table. "Have you fully bonded with Zan, then?"

Hiei glowered. Shigure had talked. Luckily for him, Zan was not in danger of being harmed by Kurama. Hiei had no doubts the youko would torture anyone he was close to in order to obtain the item the fire demon had unknowingly stolen from him. It was a relief, at least, that Shigure didn't know which ice maiden was Hiei's sister. Kurama couldn't know that either then.

"Yes, we've bonded. So if you've ever thought about hurting him, your chance is over," Hiei hissed quietly, giving the fox his best intimidating gaze. Kurama blinked, and then, much to Hiei's annoyance, burst out laughing. The other occupants of the bar stared at them, but the members of Kurama's troupe threatened them to leave their leader alone.

"That was quite entertaining!" Kurama laughter slowly dying off. The youko grabbed a mug containing an unknown substance as a waitress passed by. He took a careful sip, then stared into the drink with a gaze of bewilderment before setting it back on the tray and shooing the waitress away. His eyes continued to twinkle as he turned back and smiled at Hiei. "I never understand how the drinks around here end up worsening. When I was young...well, you don't care and I don't want to sound senile." Hiei raised an eyebrow but was not going to interrupt his companion's suddenly good mood.

"You're very mistaken about my interest to you," Kurama continued. "I can't get back what you took, so there's little use in my hurting those closest to you."

"Then why do you give a damn about him or me?"

"Tsk tsk, Hiei." Kurama waved a finger in front of the other demon, silver strands wavering as his head shook back and forth. "As with Kaida, you forget who is really in control here. I could eat you alive child," the youko purred, whipping his hand out suddenly. The fragile looking claws stopped nanometer's from Hiei's forehead. The young demon forgot how to breathe, and he watched with both awe and apprehension as the ward covering his Jagan slowly drift to the table.

The youko chuckled again, but this time the usually enjoyable sound was frightenly dark. Slowly Kurama pulled his hand away, examining the claws with a satisfied smirk.

"You better get stronger, little one. That third eye can't do much without a proper master to control it." The fingers came together and formed a fist. Kurama observed his knuckles as they turned white, eyes narrowing in anger. "Wouldn't want to hurt that precious body of yours now would you, Hiei?"

Before Hiei had a chance to retort, Kurama stood up quickly. He didn't even need to form a signal; his underlings immediately stood and crossed over to their leader.

"Sir, I thought we were going to stay for a few more hours," one of the more daring demons spoke up from the back of the group. The entire place went still. Hiei fully expected the creature to be decapitated for his insolence.

Youko Kurama was not the demon the gossip had made him to be. Either that or he was in a strange mood tonight. The youko turned his head and regarded the one who had questioned him with an intense stare. Hiei stiffened with surprise.

"We'll go someplace else. The air here is too thick for my liking."

And just as the troupe had appeared without warning, sound, or tussle, they equally left. Many of the residents fled the tavern immediately; others stayed, too drunk or not yet drunk enough to leave.

Hiei continued to stare at the doorway through which the mysterious and beautiful demon had just disappeared. The little man could have sworn, just for a brief moment before speaking to the questioner, the Youko had glanced towards him. Something about those eyes in that second; the bright gold was filled with both sorrow and longing. It created a feeling in Hiei that he didn't understand but wanted deeply to.

It felt...familiar.


	11. One Point Five

Midnightdream51 - Great to see you reviewing regularly and chatting with me. In response to a few of your statements/inquires: The A/N was, I know, very information loaded, but I wanted to be sure to make things completely clear to everyone reading. Kurama's gang seemed pathetic? Hm...in comparison to whom? I agree, Kurama has a lot of control over them, but that's because he's Youko Kurama (and extremely powerful at that). Kuronue is absent because I believe he died before Zan was ever born. Just a timeline thing. And as far as Youko being OOC...let me explain my reasoning on that look. Youko can experience feelings...if you know about Kuronue, I assume you've seen the Yu Yu movie. In that movie, Youko Kurama was really distressed when his friend died...so I think he'd feel even more distressed about losing his son.  
  
Cheeto – Thank you very much. :)  
  
Also, thank you to Rhionae's Mirror Forest (e-mail me for the link) for translating the entire manga Two Shots, which shows the first meeting between Kurama and Hiei. I've changed a few of the lines and added some dialogue to suit my needs, but otherwise the following events are pretty much scene for scene.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"I'll go. I understand..."  
  
"Don't move."  
  
"Wha..."  
  
The red-haired youth grabbed his female companion, jumping straight up and to the right to avoid the attack. Hiei glared at the two humans, ignoring the large crack his katana had made in the cement. The male was not as he appeared to be. His spirit energy was much more powerful than anything a normal human should contain. The boy 's emerald eyes narrowed defiantly back at him, still holding his companion.  
  
"You avoided me," Hiei growled, slightly surprised that the boy was so agile. He wanted his information, and the short demon was in no mood or position to fight. But that didn't mean he wouldn't if he had to. The two humans began to exchange meaningless words, causing Hiei to become impatient. He had no time for idle chatter either. The fire child pushed himself forward, attacking the strange creature that looked human but felt demon.  
  
The boy bewildered Hiei yet again. Reaching into his sleeve, he pulled out a blade of ordinary grass. The youth pushed his demon energy into the small plant, causing the blade to grow and stiffen. The edges became razor sharp as the grass blade itself became hard enough to serve as a sword.  
  
"A plant weapon?" Hiei's eyes narrowed in puzzlement. It was true that lower class demons could obtain the power to control plants. However, this power was miniscule and allowed, at its greatest potential, the ability to grow a small death flower from a seed. Turning plants into weapons required greater skill in the art of plant control and was generally reserved for certain types of demons; primarily youkos, grue[i], and treemen[ii].  
  
The boy deflected Hiei's next swipe, and the two began exchanging blows faster than the human eye could follow. Well, actually, Hiei seemed to be the only one fighting while his opponent merely blocked every attack aimed for him. Still, the fire-demon couldn't figure out how the boy was keeping up. Even if this creature was the result of a simple demon possession, the demon would still be limited by what the human body could do.  
  
The red head dodged a vicious jab, and the next thing Hiei knew he was chasing the youth into the forest. He could already predict where the other's thoughts. The boy could control plants well, it seemed, and he was trying to switch to a terrain more favorable. Hiei knew the fight would be harder for him in the forest, but he needed to know where Yatsude was hiding. He was not going to let his primary source of information escape.  
  
Prodigious speed or not, Hiei was still quicker than his opponent. Catching up, he swung, aiming for the other's kneecap. He was once again repelled.  
  
"Not bad," Hiei admitted, deciding he might try to chat up the boy. He looked young and stupid enough. Saying the right thing might reveal important information. "What's a guy like you doing working for Yatsude?" Nothing like being blunt.  
  
"Yatsude?" The youth looked surprised and perhaps a little angry. "He's in town?!"  
  
Well, that was enlightening. Unfortunately, it was not what Hiei had been searching for. Both fighters stopped in the middle of a nearby clearing. The two remained in aggressive stances, however, not yet trusting the other.  
  
"You're not with him?" Hiei raised an eyebrow at the boy. What would such a strange, weak creature as him being doing in the human world if not working for a stronger demon?  
  
"I see." The youth's sword shrank, returning to its normal form as a harmless blade of grass. It seemed like such an odd gesture...was the other really so foolish, so trusting as to put his weapon away so soon? "You can put your weapon away. I'm not here because I work for Yatsude. This town is my home."  
  
Hiei had to chuckle at that statement. Well tonight was full of surprises. He really shouldn't have expected any less from this kid, being as unusual as the boy was already. A demon living in the human world eh?  
  
"I lost my temper too quickly..." Hiei sighed, smiling at his foolishness. So many years since he had merged with Zan, and he still committed such dim- witted acts. The boy watched, horrified, as blood dripped from Hiei's cloak, making a soft rustle as it hit the grass. Hiei followed the bright eyes, watching the red liquid soak the darkened green blades beneath him. He fell unconscious before the third drop hit.  
  
------------------------------  
  
When he regained consciousness, Hiei didn't open his eyes at first. Waking was a slow, groggy process, as if some drug had seeped into his bloodstream and made his entire body seem that much heavier. His mind sluggishly turned over many options as to why he would feel this way. He knew he never consumed enough alcohol to get drunk. He hadn't eaten anything in the past few days, so food poisoning was out of the question. Besides, he had been through that before, and from what little he wanted to remember, the experience tended to involve more regurgitation than lethargy.  
  
Perhaps, Hiei wondered, he had been stung by some poisonous animal...or a plant. Plant? Why did that seem important?  
  
Hiei's eyes snapped open as adrenaline overtook whatever drug was in his system. He swallowed a surprised gasp as he took in his surroundings. Well, Hiei was not anywhere near the Makai, that much was apparent. Bright, artificial light practically glared off the pale, colored walls. A bookcase was directly in front of the fire-demon, pratically overflowing with the musky-smelling items it contained. A desk sat in the corner of the room. In the center was set a matching table with pillows the color of the bedspread Hiei was currently lying on tossed around it.  
  
"You have a great capacity to recover." Hiei sat up at the strange voice, turning his head to look for the source of the sound. There was the little red headed freak, propped up against the wall of what the fire-demon could only guess was the creature's "home." Hiei couldn't help but notice that the boy was sitting in front of the only window in the room. "You're wound is completely healed and in only four hours no less."  
  
Upon glancing down, Hiei was surprised to find that the statement was true (and nearly as surprised to find out he was half naked). He prodded the area where the wound had been gently to make sure.  
  
"It was very deep," the boy continued to speak, watching Hiei with careful observance. "I had to treat you with a Makai remedy."  
  
'Makai remedy? That would be the reason for the disoriented sensation earlier.' Hiei ignored his companion after hearing what he needed to know, looking around the room some more until he found his cloak, scarf, and sword all neatly placed on the back of a chair. Grabbing them, the little demon quickly dressed as the other continued to talk about whatever medicine it was that he used. Hiei had no use for herbal remedies.  
  
"You spoke during your sleep." He stiffened upon that statement. Turning to glare, Hiei noticed with a slight growl that the red-head had his eyes closed and body slightly turned from the demon. The boy was playing back, the gesture saying, 'Oh, so [I]now[/I] you're interested.' "Who is Yukina?"  
  
His answer was a snort before Hiei turned away as he continued to buckle his belts around his sword, making sure it was clasped firmly to his side. He did not have to answer the boy's questions. Seeing he was not going to get a further reaction, the red-head continued on a different subject to provoke something else from his silent patient.  
  
"You've had the Jagan for a short time." Hiei raised an eyebrow at that, and the boy flushed as if he had said something he knew he was not supposed to know. "I mean, I can feel it." It was a quick, made-up excuse, but Hiei let it slide. He had more important things to stand around and be annoyed by a talkative...whatever this creature was. Perhaps he could come back after dealing with Yatsude and find out how much the boy knew about him, and then deal with the situation.  
  
"You must have had a good reason for daring such a feat," Red continued quickly. "For this Yukina of yours, no doubt. What connection is there between her and Yatsude?"  
  
"You're quite the talkative one," Hiei hissed, speaking for the first time since he awoke in this stranger's room. He was prying too deep. "I would keep my mouth shut unless you want me to remove it completely."  
  
The boy shut up, thankfully. Hiei approached him, watching the child warily as he walked towards the window and his escape. The kid didn't seem to be moving to harm Hiei. He, in fact, looked...happy, perhaps? Hiei frowned internally at that. Perhaps he was just relieved that the fire- demon didn't appear to be showing any signs of threatening his young human life.  
  
"You're naïve, but I'll let it slide for now," he said, looking out the window into the city. He could feel Yatsude's presence now. The demon had to have become stronger to give off such spirit energy. Must have eaten recently. "Consider this mere warning as a thanks."  
  
"You still intended to fight?" The boy was not looking at him, but Hiei didn't need to see his eyes to know there was concern there. That felt...odd. Someone worrying over him. Nobody had cared for him since the day his two souls had merged. Especially not a complete stranger. "It's too soon. You're injury may look healed but..."  
  
"The more he eats, the stronger he becomes," was Hiei's simple reply. Slowly the boy nodded, accepting the answer. Hiei jumped on the window- sill, intending to leave right that minute.  
  
"What's your name?" Well that was an odd question. The two demons looked at each other, eyes betraying their thoughts. Hiei felt a tremble run up his spine what he saw in those bright emerald irises. Sorrow and longing. The fire-demon turned away, startled by what he had seen. It was the same look as that day in the tavern...  
  
"Hiei," he answered, feeling obligated to tell the boy, before quickly jumping out the window. Now was not the time to get caught up in foolish affairs with half-human freaks. Besides, Youko had died twelve years ago in the Makai on one of the thief's stupid escapades. Hiei was just being obsessive, and right now, he needed to concentrate on killing Yatsude before the demon's energy increased anymore.  
  
Three minutes later, he heard a voice calling out behind him. It was hard to hold in a groan, but at the same time, Hiei was almost glad for the company the strange child offered.  
  
"I don't take kindly to stalkers or followers," Hiei said, a slight warning edge in his tone. "I prefer to work alone."  
  
"I have my reasons for joining you," came the easy reply. Hiei turned the options over in his mind a few times. He didn't know this child all that well, so his guesses were limited.  
  
"It's the girl you were with earlier," he stated. A quick glance over, and Hiei couldn't help but smile a little at the boy's face.  
  
"That's crap!" Hm. Apparently he had guessed correctly. Human affairs were often either amusing or annoying, and the idea of this half-demon being affectionate with a human was indeed entertaining.  
  
"You're being gossipy again," Hiei taunted, enjoying the small measure of humor being offered before the battle to come. The little demon honestly had no idea what had gotten into his head. He had never been this...sociable with another being.  
  
"I'm after Yatsude. That is all."  
  
-------------------------  
  
Yatsude did not have Yukina. Nor had he harmed her. The only person at the now-dead demon's lair still alive had been that human girl the red-head had been traveling with. It had been a tough battle, but the victory was theirs.  
  
Theirs. It seemed like such an odd word to say. How long had it been since he had fought side by side with another person? Hiei glanced over at his cohort, watching with mild detachment as Kurama hitched his female up a little higher so she would not slip off his back.  
  
Kurama. Another odd word. Or name in this case. That's what the freak child had told Hiei his name was. The young demon, in truth, did not know if he should laugh at or kill the foolish human for wearing such a pseudonym. Perhaps it really was his name, and it was just that damn ironic that the first person he had even mildly connected with in such a long time would have the same name as Hiei's father.  
  
Zan's father, actually, but now Hiei's father. His father. It had taken two months after meeting the feared youko in the tavern before the events clicked together. A quick visit and a few subtle (and then not so subtle) threats to Shigure later, and Hiei had his answer. It seemed, strange, yet fitting, somehow, that it would be his father, the person he hadn't been looking for, that he would find before Yukina.  
  
The meeting in the tavern proved to Hiei he was to be rejected by all family he ever came in contact with. Kurama hated him. Not Zan, but Hiei. He hated Hiei for taking his son from him. He would have killed the half- koorime had he not been occupying Zan's body. Knowing that his father hated Hiei, a part of his combined soul, killed the last part in Hiei that ever hoped for a family. You couldn't hate just part of the soul without hating the whole person. So Hiei avoided anything Kurama related completely after that.  
  
Many lonely years later, Hiei decided to stop running from his problems for once. He was going to shove the fact that he was Zan in Kurama's face. The fire-demon couldn't deny the fact he wanted Kurama's acceptance, his paternal care, just as much as much as he did back when Zan and Hiei shared different bodies. The idea that they could truly be a family sang in his mind like a nightengale on a winter's night. He had his doubts that Kurama would want him back, but for once, Hiei was going to try and confront his family ties. There was a chance, no matter how small, with the youko. Unlike Hiei's sister, Kurama knew Zan was his son. Kurama had turned to look at Hiei with those eyes, sorrowful for losing his son and longing to have him back. And then there was that little fact that the fox had called Zan, "his." The possessiveness of the word made Hiei feel good. He liked the thought that he was wanted.  
  
So he would find Kurama. He would try to get something, anything from the youko. Even that look again would be enough.  
  
However, the Youko was a great thief, and at every turn Hiei was faced with more challenges when trying to locate him. And then, Kurama had died. Hiei's hope was lost altogether for a father/son reunion. The only thing left to do was re-focus all his attentions on Yukina, the sister he couldn't talk to anyway.  
  
"Are you wondering about my name?" Hiei blinked, surfacing from his thoughts and looking at Kurama. The boy was smiling in a kindly, patronizingly way. The fire-demon frowned. Kurama must have guessed the question on his mind.  
  
"Well, it's not much of a common name. I mean, most normal mothers, even humans, don't name their children Kurama. Demon mothers would have to be either really cruel or extremely insane." The girl on Kurama's back moaned, and he hushed for a moment. That amnesia pollen wouldn't do much good if she woke in the middle of their conversation.  
  
"So why is it your name?" Hiei asked, his tone a little quieter. Not that he cared if the girl overheard or not, but it would be all the better for him if he didn't get into trouble with Spirit World for making demons know to innocent humans.  
  
"Hm. I am Youko Kurama." Kurama chuckled at Hiei's skeptic stare. "You don't believe me."  
  
"Youko Kurama died twelve years ago," was all he replied. Hiei didn't feel like telling the stupid boy that Youko Kurama wouldn't have had to have asked Hiei's name. He knew very well who Hiei was.  
  
"That's funny. I don't feel very dead." Hiei didn't even attempt to stop his eyes from rolling at that.  
  
"I should kill you for your impudence, but that would just be humoring you all the more," he replied to the boy.  
  
"I heard you ran into Kaida again looking for me." Hiei stopped walking, and Kurama stilled next to him. "I'm sorry you had to go through her hell. I would have killed her after I learned what she did to you, but I felt you had the right to that vengeance." Kurama smiled cruelly. "I do have to congratulate you on the wounds you gave her before she escaped. She still can't walk properly...or see...or hear..."  
  
"That means little in evidence." Hiei hissed quietly, interrupting the fox. He didn't want to hear what Kurama was talking about anyway. "Kaida could have told anyone."  
  
"This is true." Kurama sighed, leaning his head back to look up at the stars. Hiei suddenly felt a surge of power coming off the boy. The girl on his back moaned again, but Kurama hushed her as he continued to build up his energy. "My energy feels a bit familiar, no?" Hiei had to agree. Kurama smirked at that. Suddenly his right hand shot out, stopping just in front of Hiei's forehead. The fire-demon jumped to the side, sneering at the boy as he avoided the hit.  
  
Then the ward covering his jagan fluttered in front of him. Hiei caught the cloth before it hit the ground, clenching his fist around the material as he stared at it. So he was... His knuckles turned slightly paler. Kurama's eyes in the bedroom...he should have known from that gaze.  
  
"Why did you ask my name? Why pretend you didn't know who I was?" Hiei looked up at Kurama, glaring. "You could have told me who you were."  
  
"Would you have trusted me to help you if you knew?" Hiei thought about the question posed for a moment, then shrugged. At this point, he was not sure what he would have done had he known the boy next to him was Kurama.  
  
"Besides, you never really gave me much of a chance." Kurama walked off the street, setting his female on the grass where she could sleep peacefully. He sat down next to her, taking a rest from his burden. Hiei shook his head as the youko now human patted the area next to him, offering the demon a seat.  
  
"How are you alive?"  
  
"I was injured severly, so I converted myself into soul form and escaped here." Kurama sat back on his elbows, eyes sad and hopeful all at once. It was odd to see the once feared youko now converted into this...this...human child in front of him. Showing such human emotions. "I've been living among the humans for twelve years."  
  
"You could have left by now," Hiei said incredulously, scowling at the fox. Kurama's eyes lowered, hand caressing the grass.  
  
"I've grown attached to someone here," he said softly. Hiei's eyes darted to the girl at the youko's side. As if sensing his thoughts, Kurama shook his head, reaching over to push a strand of black hair behind his female's ear. "Not Maya. My human mother." He smiled at Hiei's disbelief. "She's shown me what it's like to love. To care about someone. She protected me when I was a foolish, spoiled brat. That kind of devotion..."  
  
Hiei didn't stay to listen to anymore. He couldn't. He took off and just kept running, hoping he would eventually exhaust himself. It took until dawn, but Hiei finally landed in a nearby tree, panting as he leaned his back against the rough bark. His hands were clenched into fists, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tried to hold in the pure rage that was coursing through his rapidly pumping blood.  
  
How dare he! How dare that bastard find happiness! How dare he get a family when he was the one to abandon his son! Oh, the thieves had taken Zan from Youko, and, in that, Hiei could forgive his father. But after learning about the merge, he just gave Zan up to death. Didn't even try to talk to or listen to or understand Hiei. He left his son to the cruel Makai! Left him there to...  
  
Hiei began to gasp for breath again, but this time the noise came out in choked sobs. The fire child's eyes were dry, but his throat continued to constrict, making his breathing difficult. He turned and began to pound his fists into the tree to relieve that undefinable pressure building in his chest. It worked until the force of his punches caused the trunk to split. With nothing left to hit, Hiei sank to a sitting position, precautiously balanced on the thin branch his fingers were digging into. He stared into the rising red of the sun, trembling with a kind of rage he had never, in his life, felt before.  
  
'I worked so hard to find him. To gain his acceptance. And what was he doing while I went through all that pain and suffering?! Prattling around in the Ningenkai with a family who loved him! With someone who took him in! When he never took anyone in!' Hiei's eyes closed again in agony. 'He never wanted me. I was so stupid to believe he ever wanted a family. What would the great Youko Kurama want with a weak, foolish son who can't even protect the ones he loves?'  
  
A few gems fell from his eyes to land in Hiei's lap. He began laughing, the same horrible laugh Zan had laughed that day he picked up his brother's lifeless body. Someone else was dead to him now. Another family member had been killed in the half-youko's hopes.  
  
And this time, he didn't know how to save his father or himself.  
  
-----------------------  
  
[i] Grue according to dictionary.com: "[from archaic English verb for `shudder', as with fear] The grue was originated in the game Zork (Dave Lebling took the name from Jack Vance's "Dying Earth" fantasies) and used in several other Infocom games as a hint that you should perhaps look for a lamp, torch or some type of light source...The grue, according to scholars of the Great Underground Empire, is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favorite diet is either adventurers or enchanters, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its extreme fear of light. No grues have ever been seen by the light of day, and only a few have been observed in their underground lairs...Grues have sharp claws and fangs, and an uncontrollable tendency to slaver and gurgle. They are certainly the most evil-tempered of all creatures...All this folklore is widely known among hackers."  
  
[ii] Treeman, according to MythCreatures, "Treemen are ancient fantasy creatures that protect the forests of old. Treemen are gigantic tree looking like creatures they have trunk like legs and have great branches for arms. They have a tough woody skin. Treemen have a fear of fire as this can do much damage to them and their forest homes. Treemen tend to have hatred towards those that go around chopping down the biggest and oldest of trees." Most of you might think of the Ents in the Tolkien series, which were indeed based off of treemen. 


	12. Bright Sorrow, Dark Flame

Well, I finally came back to this fiction. I had the hardest time deciding how to end it, and in the end, it took two chapters to make it seem finalized. Here's the second to the last chapter. It's going to be a bit different than my other chapters; I've even started it differently because the normal "small talk" start didn't work. I think it offsets this chapter, making it seem as significant as it actually is.

The chapter after this just ties things up. If you want to end with angst, I suggest stopping at the end of this chapter. If you like your stories with a lighter ending, continue on to the next page.

Enjoy.

* * *

Kurama didn't know what to say. He didn't have really anything he could say. Hiei...Zan...remained quietly by his side, seemingly indifferent to whether he received any reply for the tale just told. But Kurama felt he had to say something. He had to make up for everything done. He had to do...he had to do something. He couldn't lose his son when they had come this far.

"Why did you come back?" Kurama asked softly, tone displaying slight curiosity and a large amount of the frustration he felt at that moment. There was hope there too. Hiei had returned to him instead of Kurama being forced to seek the fire demon out. Perhaps...

"I needed to get the three artifacts in order to find Yukina." Hiei watched the breeze ruffle the tall grasses of the meadow. It had long been abandoned by the children hours ago. The sun was barely holding its dominate place over the earth as night closed in. "You were the only person with the right skills that I knew."

Kurama bit hard on the inside of his mouth, the pain a pleasant distraction from the understanding that came with his son's words. He took a moment to swallow, the saliva, blood, and emotion nearly making him gag.

"And what kept you? You haven't held any ill will towards me since." That he knew of. Hiei was easy to read, but Kurama was finding that underneath the simple, bull-headed Koorime lay his son. Zan, as he was showing through this latest conversation, was almost as artful as his father in the practice of deception.

Hiei took in a deep breath, the slight shudder accompanying his exhale the only sign that he was feeling something surrounding this subject as well. Kurama tried not to hope for too much this time. His son held him in the proverbial palm of his hand. Zan had complete control of this discussion, of the events to take place, and he knew it. One wrong word, and Kurama, Hiei, or both of them could break.

"I refused to give up on you, I guess." It was shattered, but not in the way Kurama had been expecting. Instead of a breaking heart, Hiei's façade had been the casualty. War played out upon his features. A struggle to keep what he wanted to say and what he had to say from becoming one in the same. "I had promised myself, when I went to look for you, that I wouldn't run away anymore. I had to keep that promise to myself because, back in those days, if I couldn't count on myself, I had no one else to count on."

"Hiei..."

"You betrayed me, Kurama." Bright amber eyes glowed as they turned their gaze to the fox. "There were so many times you could have told me and did not. I deserve to know why."

Kurama nodded. The hurdles kept coming, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could continue before he stumbled.

"I didn't think you would believe me." This part of the answer was simple and easy enough. Logic was hard to become upset over. "I didn't know you had your memories still. Shigure told me Zan might reappear, that you might merge, but that the very real possibility was that Zan was gone forever. I believed that you, Hiei, wouldn't care about Zan's family. I didn't know the strength of the bond the two parts of you shared."

"That's not all of it." Hiei sneered at Kurama, glowering at the calmness with which the reply had been given. How dare the thief continue to evade the truth when it was needed most. "Don't try to spare my feelings. It's too late for that. I know that part of you still hated me."

A pained expression flitted across Kurama's eyes.

"Yes. When I was Youko, I loathed you for killing my son. And as a human, I thought I could use Shoiri to replace you so I would no longer have to seek you. Seeing Zan's body without him in it hurt me. I didn't want to face it. So I became the coward," he admitted. "I was the one to run away that time. But when you returned to me, dying, that night..."

Kurama stopped. No, Hiei would not want to hear sentiments. He was hurt, let down by his father's actions. He wanted his information so he could come to terms with his past and move on to the future.

Kurama could not be nearly so lucky. The rest of this new life would be spent making up for the pain he had caused others as Youko, his son included.

"It's different, isn't it?" The sound of Hiei's soft voice snapped the other out of his thoughts. "When you finally see them, and you realize how much pain they have to go through because of your selfish actions."

Hiei lifted up the parcel he was holding, pulling the cloth away from the box. Beneath the alabaster cover was the sheen of red wood. Atop the box's cover was an intricately carved eye. So real, Kurama nearly stepped back in surprise. Hiei gingerly slid the cover off, presenting him with the valuables inside.

The fox's eyes widened. Valuables indeed. The box was nearly filled to the brim with Hiruiseki. The tear gems shimmered softly in the fading light, taking on the appearance of the stars themselves. It was almost magical, in a sense, that which lay before him. So many precious jewels, something Kurama would have sought were he still the youko.

"How did you get so many?" he asked in wonderment. Hiei smirked at the other's awe, pulling the box closer to him and practically cradling it in his arms.

"They're Yukina's." Hiei's eyes nearly glowed upon mentioning his sister's name. "Koorimes tend to keep their tear gems as reminders of past sorrows, happiness, and pain. Yukina...she gave these to me." He picked one up delicately as if it would suddenly disappear into thin air. Kurama could nearly feel the Yukina's energy radiating off of the jewel. Her ki saddened him more in some way.

"My sister, she told me these were all the tears she cried for me out of the frustration of not being able to find me. These were all the tears she shed for the pain of not having me nearby." He dropped the Hiruiseki back among its companions.

"She told me to destroy them."

Kurama caught the hint of a smile, and he couldn't help but mirror it despite the heavy emotion weighing him down. How long had it been since Zan had been that happy?

"Yukina believes that she doesn't need these reminders of the past," Hiei continued. "She said, 'I now have the family that I want. It's time to build and forget about the ruins.'"

Hiei reached into his pocket and pulled out a black leather bag. Kurama was reminded of the marble sacks that human children tended to carry with them. The click of many hard spheres bumping into each other only amplified the illusion.

Pulling apart the strings, Hiei slid a few of the precious Hiruiseki within onto the palm of his hand. Kurama noticed these tear gems were different from Yukina's, yet almost exactly the same, though in what way, he couldn't quite tell.

"These are the tears I cried in my struggle to find you as Hiei-Zan. As Zan alone, well, there would be a few more, but he didn't have the right ki to preserve his suffering as Hiei did."

Kurama's breath stopped as the gems Hiei held, and then the rest in the bag, were poured into Yukina's box. His cheeks slightly tickled as a set of his own liquid emotion ran down either side of his face. His hands were shaking too badly to even attempt to wipe them away. Instead, Hiei stepped forward and caught them deftly on his index finger, moving the tears over the box where they fell amongst the brightest and dullest gems.

"I'm not like Yukina. I don't forget or forgive easily." Hiei moved to the box. He placed his hands on either side of the wood, eyes closing in soft concentration. "But I think this time it'll be ok to run away. Just this once."

Black flames formed around the wood, lapping at the precious energy stored within. Slowly the dark fire slid over the contents, consuming all it touched in its path. The blaze alighted with great passion upon releasing the energy from within the Hiruiseki, then just as quickly died. Not an ash was left.

"This time," Hiei looked up, and Kurama saw the same smile as before in place. Only now it was for him. "This time, Father, I have a family I can depend on."


	13. Converse Now Truly Hearing

Now that I think on it, the ending isn't all that happy, though you have to admit this chapter is lighter than the last (once you read it, of course). I like things happy, but I also believe some things staying "true to life". So the truth is, that while problems can be solved, there are some that take time to work on.

Well, I hope you enjoy this final chapter, and thank you for sticking with me this far into the story. Thank you for those that have kept with it since I started it a year ago, and thank you to the newcomers. Thanks to the reviewers (I feel like I'm accepting an award...I always have trouble parting with my stories). I hope to do more (and with better scheduling). Cy'all!

* * *

"Shut up Urameshi!"

"I'm telling you the truth, Dumbass."

"I...I...I don't believe..."

"Yeah, I know. It's weird to think about, isn't it?" Yuusuke laughed at Kuwabara's expression. Poor guy. First he finds out that the love of his life is the brother of one of the few people he can't stand, and now...

"This isn't just some joke you guys are pulling on me, is it?" The larger teen raised an eyebrow, skeptically glaring at his friend. "I know all of you like to pick on me."

"I'm serious." Yuusuke's face lost the grin, becoming what he claimed to be. "Do you really think I have a good enough imagination to make up a big, long story like that? Two people fusing with a Jagan and all? I barely know what that freaky eye does besides give Hiei another way to glare at me."

"I dunno. You did come up with that one 'turtle in the lead pipe' cover when you were late for school..." Kuwabara sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets as Yuusuke and he continued to walk towards the temple.

"Uh, Kuwabara?" The spirit detective looked over, a slight show of concern on his face. "You look like you have to use the bathroom or something. You ok with this? I mean, it's not like you're in love with Kurama." Yuusuke suddenly stopped.

"Or are you?"

"Idiot!" The sound of rattling bones could be heard to the two present as fist connected with jaw. Despite being winner of the Dark Tournament, Yuusuke still failed to dodge most of Kuwabara's punches.

Then again, it always gave him an excuse to hit back.

The two were tussling as Yukina and Kurama made their way down the steps. At the sight of the ice maiden, Kuwabara pushed Urameshi away and ran over, clasping her smaller hands between his.

"Yukina, my love!"

"Kuwabara, are you ok?" she asked, freeing one of the hands to prod at a few of the bruises on his face. The teen nearly melted into her touch, something both Kurama and Yuusuke found most amusing.

"No, he's not ok. He's dying of a broken heart." Yuusuke grinned, picking himself up and dusting off slightly. "Now I understand why you've always treated me this way, Kuwa-kins." He placed one hand on his forehead and leaned back with a sweeping, dramatic pose. "You were just using me as a substitute for Kurama."

"Urameshi!"

"No, no." Yuusuke backed up from Kuwabara's threatening approach. He was trying and failing miserably at keeping a grin off his face, sentences interrupted by snickers. "Please don't try to apologize, Kuwa-kins. I'll let Kurama have you. Honestly."

"I'll kill you!" The two took off, Yuusuke laughing hysterically as he ran towards the temple, Kuwabara hot on his heels. Yukina and Kurama were left forgotten on the steps. Becoming used to the antics of her admirer and his friends, Yukina was more exasperated than confused at their actions.

"Keiko's waiting for Yuusuke at the temple. I better go make sure she doesn't hurt him too much." She clasped Kurama's hand for a brief second, squeezing it gently. He returned the gesture before she let go, watching as she ran back up the steps. "C'mon, big brother! You have to help me!"

In the trees above, there was a subtle shift in ki. One could barely detect it before it was gone, following the maiden towards the temple. Kurama trailed at a much slower pace, enjoying the walk fully as there was no hurry to get to his destination. It was a very lovely day, and most of the plants in the surrounding forest where at their fullest strength. The youko entwined his ki with them, their living energy strengthening him in both body and spirit.

"Kurama!" His peace was interrupted by the gentle giant that was his human friend. Kuwabara was looking around like a lost puppy, scratching his head as he attempted to glare out whatever was eluding him. "Have you seen Urameshi?"

"I thought you chased him all the way to the temple," Kurama answered, now as confused at Kuwabara.

"Yeah, but he circled around when he saw Keiko there. She didn't look too happy with him." Kuwabara shrugged, not really one to try to solve the mystery that was the Yuusuke and Keiko relationship. Eyes drifting to Kurama, the taller teen jumped as if he had just realized who he was talking to. Kuwabara flushed, embarrassed by his actions, and tried to seem nonchalant about the entire incident

"So Yuusuke told you then." Kurama smiled kindly, not upset with the other's reaction. Kuwabara was too easy to read at times, but it was a nice break from having to solve the simplest situations turned complex. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"Naw..." The hesitation with which that had been said told Kurama that it would take some time for Kuwabara. But at least he was willing to start accepting. "It's just a bit weird, that's all." He shuffled his feet slightly. He looked like he had something else to say but then decided not to say it. "Well, I'm going to go find Urameshi. Later Kurama!"

"Kuwabara, wait!" The teen stopped in mid-run, turning around with a puzzled expression. Kurama slowly walked up to him. This made the other a little unnerved. Kurama's ki was gently swirling around him in a comforting manner. That was way different than the seductive yet deadly form his friend's ki usually took.

The fox put one hand on Kuwabara's arm, smiling up at his friend.

"Thank you for what you did." The words were heartfelt, and, for once, Kuwabara actually felt useful to this man that had done so much for him. "What you told Hiei forced him to take action. To confront his own feelings. And because of that, I was also forced to confront mine.

Both Hiei and Yukina gained a sibling and a father. I now have two children where I once tentatively held onto one. You've changed all our lives. There is no possible way we can repay you."

"Hey, hey!" Kuwabara waved his hands hurriedly before himself, trying to brush off Kurama's gratefulness with that simple move. He was obviously a little embarrassed. "I just did what I thought would be best for Yukina, ok? I'm not a hero or anything."

Kurama nodded, understanding to the other's modesty. First his mother for her love. Then Yuusuke for his mother. And now Kuwabara for his son. Kurama was finding that this new life was requiring him to depend on many different people. Dependence, he had always believed, was a weakness. After all, he now owed at least four people his very life.

Yet, he was happy. Strange.

"Hey, Kurama." He looked up at Kuwabara, tilting his head to one side to show his curiosity. The large boy rubbed the back of his head, almost uncomfortable to be asking what he would be asking. "Hiei's doing a lot better now, isn't he? I've noticed a few changes in his aura..."

"We're still working some things out." Kurama suppressed a sigh. His son was difficult in many respects. He had his own way of going about his life. "But, yes. I don't worry about him nearly as much." He winked to lighten his words and the mood.

A huge smile crossed Kuwabara's face, and his posture straightened as well to signify his delight.

"I'm really glad." He looked both ways quickly before leaning over. One hand at the side of his mouth, the teen whispered to his friend. "But don't tell him I said that."

"My lips are sealed," Kurama replied with an easy smile.

The two walked together in comfortable silence until they reached the temple. Kuwabara immediately ran to Yukina's side then, adoringly watching her as she bandaged Yuusuke's wrist. The grumpy detective was yelling at an equally perturbed looking Keiko. She replied by yelling in kind. Genkai simply walked over and smacked Yuusuke over the back of the head before he could continue the argument.

Hiei was leaning against the wall, watching crossly as Kuwabara continued to babble on about various nothings to the fire demon's sister. Chuckling, Kurama walked over and leaned back as well.

The subtle shift away did not go un-noticed by him, but Kurama allowed it. Things were awkward between the two now; a deep friendship had been broken by the secrets revealed. The unanswered question now was, should they attempt to repair their friendship, or should they allow something else to build around it? And whether that something would be good or bad, neither could say.

"I told Kuwabara," Kurama said quietly, watching as Yuusuke pulled away from Yukina to chase after Genkai. "You should swallow your pride. He deserves to hear it from your own mouth."

"We both wanted to say it. Why bother him twice over it," Hiei stated, not looking over at the other. Kuwabara placed his hands on Yukina's shoulders, yelling at Yuusuke to be more considerate. Keiko looked concernedly at the puzzled koorime. "Besides, Yukina will tell him as well."

"You know you should," was the curt reply. Yuusuke had now turned around to hit Kuwabara. Genkai took this chance to smack him over the head again.

"Maybe someday." Hiei closed his eyes and pushed off against the wall. Midway to the group, he suddenly turned back and looked Kurama in the eyes. Red and green met for a long moment.

"You don't have to keep looking out for me." It wasn't said in the frustrated tone that most teens take with their parents. Hiei spoke casually, as if stating a fact that he knew wasn't completely apparent to his audience. Kurama nodded.

"Old habit," He replied. The green eyes narrowed. "And I'm afraid it's not going to break anytime soon." The fox stayed firm in his words, making it hard to argue.

Red eyes widened briefly, then blinked, breaking the spell. Hiei turned away, shaking his head and chuckling.

"Stubborn idiot," he muttered as he walked towards Kuwabara and Yukina. Kurama smiled as he watched Yukina greet her brother, Kuwabara pointing out some ridiculous fact about Hiei's appearance to impress her. Hiei rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth ticking in irritation. Yukina hid her laughter behind a hand, though it gleamed brightly in her eyes.

"Hey, Kurama, whatcha doin' by the wall?" Yuusuke was apparently no longer trying to argue with either of the girls. "That's where Hiei usually is."

Yukina looked up, noticing the red-head as Yuusuke shouted at him. She smiled brightly and waved.

"Yes Father! Come join us!"

So he did.


	14. Clearing Up Confusion AN

I moved this to the end to keep from interrupting the flow of the fiction.

I'm going to try and explain a few things that people aren't understanding (not that its anyone's fault. I've interpreted literature and poems completely wrong before. It's all in how the person personally interprets it).

Hiei and Zan are not blood brothers. They are not related at all. Well, let me rephrase that. You see, Zan's mother and Hiei's father are both fire demons, and considering that Zan and Hiei look so similar, it is possible their parents are related. They might be distant cousins or something like that (it's the reader's choice at this point really. You can theorize their parents were related or you can just believe they look alike due to a freaky twist of fate. I'm not telling you the real answer yet...:P) However, Zan is youko/fire demon and Hiei is fire demon/koorime. They have completely different parents.

When Zan calls Hiei 'Brother' and vice versa, it's symbolic. Both are abandoned children who need a family to latch onto, so the two half-fire demons kind of adopt each other and make a family of their own. Thus they are "brothers."

Now onto the Yukina problem. The English dub has the following line from Hiei about Yukina: "She and I have different mothers. We're only half- siblings." Upon hearing this, I threw my remote at the TV. ;) Not really, but truth is Hiei and Yukina had the exact same mother, just different FATHERS. Koorime are a race of all females, and they reproduce bisexually (don't quote me on this. I only say so because Hina (Hiei's mother) was pregnant with Hiei and Yukina, and she got pregnant by a male, so asexual doesn't make much sense). In other words, a koorime impregnates herself and has another female child. Hina, against the rules of her society, made love with a fire demon male around the same time her own body impregnated itself. Yukina is the child of Hina solely, and Hiei is the product of Hina and a fire demon. (Some may argue Yukina could be the child of Hina and the fire demon and just turned out an ice demon like her mother while Hiei gained his father's powers. This may also be true. There is no specific evidence to support or deny either claim as far as I am aware unless in the Japanese version Hiei does say that they are matter- of-factly half-siblings.)

Now as far as relationships between Hiei and Yukina. Hiei and Yukina are twins. They are related. Yukina and Zan are not related at all. Youko Kurama is not Yukina or Hiei's father. Hiei and Zan's soul merged in Zan's body. Thus, the body Hiei now resides in has no relation to Yukina whatsoever, but it is still the body of Youko Kurama's son. Hiei and Yukina are only related right now because at one time Hiei's body was related to Yukina, and in their souls, they are still brother and sister. The soul of Hiei and the body and soul of Yukina both came into this world through the same woman, and as far as they are (or I am) concerned, that still makes them brother and sister.

Zan's relationship with Yukina (had he ever met her) would've been another adoptive brother/sister one. Hiei is Zan's adopted brother, therefore, Zan would love Yukina as he loves Hiei.

Kurama's relationship with Yukina right now is strictly protective. Because Hiei is part of his son now, and Hiei loves Yukina, Kurama is slightly protective of her. He only cares about her because she's someone important to someone he loves. He might start to take her under his wing as she and Hiei grow closer.

So what did we learn today?

Making Children

Youko Kurama mates Female fire demon = Zan

Hina mates herself/Male fire demon = Yukina

Hina mates Male fire demon = Hiei

Sibling relations

Hiei relation Yukina = Half siblings

Hiei relation Zan = Adopted brothers

Zan relation Yukina = Adopted Brother/Adopted Sister

Zan merged with Hiei = Hiei-Zan

Hiei-Zan relation Yukina = Soul siblings/Half siblings

Kurama's Relations

Kurama relation Hiei = None

Kurama relation Zan = Father/Son

Kurama relation Hiei-Zan = Father/Son

Kurama relation Yukina = Friendly/Protective

Hina's Relations

Hina relation Hiei = Mother/Son

Hina relation Zan = None

Hina relation Hiei-Zan = Mother/Son

Hina relation Yukina = Mother/Daughter

Zan's Mother's Relations

Female fire demon relation Hiei = None

Female fire demon relation Zan = Mother/Son

Female fire demon relation Hiei-Zan = Mother/Son

Female fire demon relation Yukina = None

Hiei's Father's Relations

Male fire demon relation Hiei = Father/Son

Male fire demon relation Zan = None

Male fire demon relation Hiei-Zan = Father/Son

Male fire demon relation Yukina = Maybe Father/Daughter (not sure)

Submit ReviewReport Possible AbuseAdd Story to FavoritesAdd Author to FavoritesAdd Author to Author Alert 1. Conversations2. Revelations3. Curious Talks4. Understanding Faults5. One Dilemma Down, a Hundred Lifetimes of...6. Don't Underestimate Your Allies7. The Choices We Make8. The Hearts That We Break9. Coming Together10. Clearing Up Confusion, Author's Note11. Father Apart12. One Point Five13. Bright Sorrow, Dark Flame14. Converse Now Truly Hearing


End file.
